Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship material. He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. I was honest when I met him that I was looking for something more than just sex, and he led me to believe that was what he wanted, too. Between mind-blowing sex sessions, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies — couple things but without the label. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused. My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him."Why don't we ever go anywhere?""We have everything we need here," he answered while simultaneously distracting me by caressing my shoulder blades."We actually don't," I said. "I'm hungry, let's check out that new Indian place around the corner.""No! We might run into one of my buddies," he said, moving his body further away from me. The underlining meaning was clear — he couldn't take the chance that someone he knew would see him with me.He needed to keep our relationship on the DL so that no one would ever suspect that he enjoyed spending time with me — a fat woman.He was super fit, so obviously that's the kind of woman he wanted to be associated with, the kind he could be seen with at the Indian place.When I realized he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach — a place where much of my pain already resided.To him, I was fuckable but not dateable. He dumped me soon after that conversation.He did me a favor by not continuing to lead me on. Otherwise, I might still be trying to prove to him that I was worth any shit he might have gotten from other people. If I was still his secret shame, I might not have met my next boyfriend, so thanks, athletic asshole.I had hoped that, in this age of body positivity, men would no longer need to hide their desires when it comes to fat women.But I was wrong.It's just a sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it.They're OK with banging a fat girl, but they don't want to hang out with her — someone might judge them for it.It's one thing if you're not into fat women — everyone has their preferences, and not every body type appeals to everyone. But if you find larger women hot and you want to have sex with them without being associated in public with them, that's emotionally abusive.Everyone should have the freedom to express their desires openly (as long as there's consent from both parties). If you modify your behavior and wants to what you think will protect you from criticism and/or ridicule, then you need help because that kind of self-loathing will only grow until it has destroyed you.Don't act like we're in a relationship if all you really want is to experience what sex with a fat woman is like.I'll tell you what it's like: It's as amazing and fun as having sex with anyone who's into having sex with you. We don't have magic vaginas, and our breasts don't do any special tricks — well besides the usual, like feed or comfort people.Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. Being fat doesn't mean we're so hungry for attention that we'll put our own needs aside and do whatever we can to rock your world.If you're with someone who doesn't make you feel beautiful or who isn't proud to have you on their arm, you need to dump their ass.Being alone is far better than compromising on what you deserve or being made to feel as if you're someone's big dirty secret.You're not only dateable, you're lovable and worthy of being treated with respect and love.I regret not standing up for myself when I discovered the athletic guy was only using me for sex. But at least I learned, as we all should learn, that I'm responsible for being my biggest advocate and to never accepting anything less than what I need.This article was written by Christine Schoenwald and originally appeared on 06.29.18

A lot of parents are tired of being told how technology is screwing up their kids. Moms and dads of the digital age are well aware of the growing competition for their children's attention, and they're bombarded at each turn of the page or click of the mouse with both cutting-edge ideas and newfound worries for raising great kids.But beneath the madness of modernity, the basics of raising a moral child haven't really changed.Parents want their kids to achieve their goals and find happiness, but Harvard researchers believe that doesn't have to come at the expense of kindness and empathy. They say a few tried-and-true strategies remain the best ways to mold your kids into the morally upstanding and goals-oriented humans you want them to be.Here are six practical tips:1) Hang out with your kids.This is, like, the foundation of it all. Spend regular time with your kids, ask them open-ended questions about themselves, about the world and how they see it, and actively listen to their responses. Not only will you learn all sorts of things that make your child unique, you'll also be demonstrating to them how to show care and concern for another person.2) If it matters, say it out loud.According to the researchers, "Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren't hearing that message." So be sure to say it with them. And so they know it's something they need to keep up with, check in with teachers, coaches, and others who work with your kids on how they're doing with teamwork, collaboration, and being a generally nice person.3) Show your child how to "work it out."Walk them through decision-making processes that take into consideration people who could be affected. For example, if your child wants to quit a sport or other activity, encourage them to identify the source of the problem and consider their commitment to the team. Then help them figure out if quitting does, in fact, fix the problem.4) Make helpfulness and gratitude routine.The researchers write, "Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving — and they're also more likely to be happy and healthy." So it's good for parents to hold the line on chores, asking kids to help their siblings, and giving thanks throughout the day. And when it comes to rewarding "good" behavior, the researchers recommend that parents "only praise uncommon acts of kindness."5) Check your child's destructive emotions."The ability to care for others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings," say the researchers. Helping kids name and process those emotions, then guiding them toward safe conflict resolution, will go a long way toward keeping them focused on being a caring individual. It's also important to set clear and reasonable boundaries that they'll understand are out of love and concern for their safety.6) Show your kids the bigger picture."Almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends," say the researchers. The trick is getting them to care about people who are socially, culturally, and even geographically outside their circles. You can do this by coaching them to be good listeners, by encouraging them to put themselves in other people's shoes, and by practicing empathy using teachable moments in news and entertainment.The study concludes with a short pep talk for all the parents out there:"Raising a caring, respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work. But it's something all of us can do. And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding."This article originally appeared on 06.16.15

Today, half of the Internet learned that Jeep vehicles have hidden 'Easter eggs' on them. Apparently, the other half already knew but didn't bother to tell us.As Joel Feder of Motor Authority explains, Jeep vehicles have had these little surprises since the 90s. Michael Santoro, hired as a designer in 1989, decided to slip an Easter egg into the Wrangler TJ. Since then, pretty much every vehicle has included at least one Easter Egg. According to Mopar Insiders, the Easter eggs can be found on each of the brand's cars.Not everyone was aware of this fact, though, as a TikTok by jackiefoster40 recently revealed. The user discovered a spider hidden in his fuel tank and decided to share the Easter egg in a video. "So I bought my first car, and a fun fact about Jeeps is that they have a hidden animal which is called an Easter egg," the user said. "I couldn't find my Easter egg for the longest time, and one day I was pumping my gas, and I saw this spider coming at me, and I thought 'oh my god', and then I realized it was my Easter egg." @nkyrealestate ?JEEP WAS REALING TRYING TO GET ME.???? #fyp #jeepsoftiktok #spider ♬ original sound - Jackie Now, TikTok users have been looking a little closer at their jeeps to discover the Easter eggs hidden in their cars. Most of them posted jackiefoster40's original narration over their videos to explain what was going on.This user found a cute little lizard. @katepetersonn Bruh wut #fyp ♬ original sound - Jackie This user found multiple Easter eggs, including Bigfoot and a miniature grill in the headlights. @jazzy._.boo i never realized these were easter eggs? #fyp #jeeprenegade ♬ original sound - Jackie Others found jeeps on their jeeps among other Easter eggs. @katie.deren Shook #jeep #renagade #finalsathome #fyp ♬ original sound - Jackie This user found a dinosaur skull on their floor. @ellkayhey Wait for it... sorry it’s dirty? #YoplaitCupRelay #celebratenurses #cartooncharacter #finalsathome ♬ original sound - Jackie Some people have even found a tiny pair of flip flops on their cars. @micaelaaaraeee welcome home to the love of my life ???? #2020 #jeepwrangler #jeepwranglerjl #wrangler #jeep #jl #jeepeasteregg #orange #car #fyp ♬ original sound - Jackie Everyone is having a lot of fun trying to find their Easter egg. @kennedankk We searched the trackhawk for 30 minutes before I found it in the headlight ♬ original sound - Jackie So. Many. Animals.TikTok - Make Your DayTikTok - trends start here. On a device or on the web, viewers can watch and discover millions of personalized short videos. Download the app to get started. @sydneytirrel brooo what!!! I thought this was fake lol...I have a fricken lizard on my car!!! I need names for it?? #fyp #foryoupage #makemefamous ♬ original sound - Jackie If you can't find the Easter eggs in your vehicles, then NowCar.com put together a handy guide that seems to cover most of them.Hopefully everyone can have some fun searching their cars for hidden animals and objects.This article first appeared on 5.14.20

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid. Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without.According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord and had her family's full, passionate support, but her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. The woman was looking for validation and posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important. The firstborn son since the 1800's has been given this name. I'm well aware it's a stigmatized name today, so that's why I have agreed to using a short form,” the woman wrote.Understanding that her son would be bullied for being called Gaylord, she decided that it would be his legal first name, but could go by Gail. Her family believed that it was acceptable for him to be known as Gail initially, but as society grows more tolerant, will be called Gaylord when he gets older.“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she continued. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”The father wouldn’t even consider naming his son Gaylord, or Gail, for that matter. His family went a step further and said that naming him Gaylord or Gail would be “abusive.”"My in-laws are telling me that even Gail isn't an acceptable boy's name and that I need to 'get with the times' and choose something more appropriate," she continued. “What happened to respecting our elders and traditions? His family doesn't have any naming traditions, so it should fall to my family that does. How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?”The commenters were overwhelmingly against the mother’s decision."Use your imagination. A boy named Gaylord goes to his first day of school. The teacher does the roll call. ‘GAYLORD SMITH?’ Class breaks into giggles. Embarrassed boy says, ‘It's Gail.’ Class giggles some more, since Gail is usually a girl's name. Boy has no chance of fitting in with his classmates. His fate is sealed. He is a social pariah for life. Don't do this to him. Please,” one user wrote."Your name is the first thing people know about you. It’s the cover page of how people perceive you. Even if you think Gaylord will just appear on the birth certificate, you’re wrong. His legal name will have to be used on official documents, at school, on his license and passport. It will appear at the top of every resume he hands out. It’s not as simple as putting a name on paper. It’s how he is going to appear to the whole world. Gaylord is totally stigmatized and has been for decades. It’s not going away, sorry." Elinbeth added.“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time. Pick another name," CashieBashie wrote.After the post went viral, the mother shared that both sides of the family have tentatively agreed on a name.“We managed to work out that Gale Gaylord would be a reasonable compromise, with Gale being the complete first name, and Gaylord being the middle name,” the woman wrote. “My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants. Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here.”This article originally appeared on 2.14.24

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