Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up By Abigail Shrier (Penguin Random House‚ 297 pages‚ $30) Generation Z has a problem. In fact‚ several. The main culprit for their malaise and general unwillingness to take risks‚ according to Abigail Shrier in her new book Bad Therapy‚ is that their childhoods are plagued by society-wide “mom-agers.” These helpful minders take the form of therapists‚ school administrators and counselors‚ Silicon Valley venture capitalists‚ and yes — even parents themselves. If you are a member of Generation X‚ your childhood was likely marked by a few key features: your perception of your parents’ purported authoritarianism‚ a lack of smartphones‚ a smattering of latchkey kids in your neighborhood‚ and a far more opaque understanding of so-called mental health. When you grew up and became a parent‚ you resolved to be different; you promised to never spank‚ to make sure your child felt heard and loved‚ and to ensure they got the accommodations they needed. All you wanted&;#63; For your kids to like you in the end. When parenting difficulties arose or Johnny wasn’t “sitting still in class‚” you consulted the experts. First‚ you read all the parenting books you could find. Eventually‚ some of you took your children to the pediatrician or a psychiatrist. They got a diagnosis — ADHD‚ oppositional defiant disorder‚ sensory processing disorder — and a prescription. You were relieved to finally know what was wrong with them. Then‚ the iatrogenic effects started to manifest themselves. It turns out that focusing on one’s feelings in therapy can lead to more bad feelings. Medications have side effects. According to the author of Irreversible Damage‚ the trauma-aware soup that Gen Z has been swimming in has made them self-conscious and hyperaware of their internal troubles‚ which is a recipe for depression and anxiety. The constant presence of watchful eyes from adults on the playground‚ counselors in school‚ and coaches in extracurricular activities removed all possibility of childhood danger and scraped knees. If a child was known to come from a troubled home‚ she was watched even more intently and expectations for her performance were lowered. Trauma is forever‚ after all. Today‚ social-emotional learning circles pervade schools and encourage children to divulge their trauma or to confront their bully. Everyone liberally speaks about their Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)‚ their struggles with gender identity‚ and their feelings about their parents’ divorce. The children know that talking about their struggles is one surefire way to receive the attention they crave‚ and schools encourage it. Repression is out‚ dysregulation is in. The news that repression is out is well met by pop psychologists‚ many of whom are profiting off the American people’s desire to plumb the depths of their childhood to find a cause for what is presently wrong with them. In chapter six‚ Shrier informs us that‚ contrary to popular notions‚ your body does not keep the score. In response to a potentially traumatic event‚ resilience is the norm‚ not brokenness. Some of the psychological studies on trauma are shaky at best‚ as Shrier details‚ and our memories‚ while powerful‚ can be quite fallible. Meanwhile‚ back at your child’s school‚ parental authority is questioned at every turn. Children are dispatched to spy on their parents and detail their family’s dynamics. Secret surveys have been put forward to kids to ensure their attachment to their parents is healthy. If not‚ a call to Child Protective Services is not out of the question. These surveys ask students if they smoke‚ have had sex while still a minor‚ or have any plans to kill themselves. Smartphones are absolutely everywhere‚ and kids are poorly behaved. If they are not acting out‚ many of them are zonked on antidepressants or must ask an adult for help to achieve simple tasks. Also‚ they can be vicious. The monitored have grown up and become the monitors — they keep screenshots of the problematic texts their friends send them‚ just in case they need dirt if their friend tattles on them first. Who’s to blame&;#63; Besides the “experts‚” Shrier lays the blame at the feet of gentle parenting‚ a more maternal style of interaction that prioritizes a massive increase in the hours spent with the child‚ getting the child’s buy-in on the myriad of choices affecting their lives‚ and parents having unconditional positive regard. And boy‚ was it exhausting. One particularly chilling example of the failings of gentle parenting comes in chapter nine‚ where Shrier tells of a battered mother who is struggling and bargaining with her little Pol Pot at a park. “Please be a good boy … and when we get home‚ I’ll let you do anything you want. What do you want&;#63;” The 6-year-old said plainly‚ “I want to punch you in the face.” There you have it. For all of the hours spent together‚ all of the soft voices‚ loose boundaries‚ and “consequences‚” her child wanted to punch her in the face. Unfortunately‚ gentle parents are not enjoying the children they’re raising. But they can’t yell‚ punish‚ or lay down firm rules — those are things the bad kind of parents do. And Dad telling the kid to knock it off or tough it out&;#63; Anathema. Plus‚ it’s too late. Perpetually accommodating the child’s sensitivity has already resulted in a sensitive child. Much to the gentle parents’ surprise‚ when the children get older‚ some of them cut them off. According to Shrier‚ the young adults who repudiate their parents state that they felt “crushed by the burden of serving as the buttress for their parents’ emotional lives.” The kids were — are — miserable about having been put in charge of their lives at such a young age. They wanted an authoritative parent‚ not a permissive‚ smothering one. Bad Therapy states that there is a way to fix this. It starts with leaving the kids alone. It means sometimes ignoring expert advice. It involves parents not running interference in their kids’ lives and not praising them for doing things that are not difficult. As Shrier says‚ “[T]hey never learn to do for themselves if we do everything for them.” Shrier provides an anecdote from her own life: She stepped back from managing her kids to great success. She started by letting them walk home from the bus stop alone‚ then trusting them to keep track of their homework due dates‚ then sending them out to run errands on their bikes. Their confidence and desire for independence only grew‚ as did their street smarts. In previous generations‚ teens were trusted to make a decision on whether to go to college‚ who to date‚ who to be friends with‚ and what and how many activities to be involved in. They should be allowed to make these decisions once more. However‚ it would behoove parents to make one critical decision to help their children flourish and that is getting rid of their smartphones‚ or at least social media. Adversity and hurt feelings will come for your children no matter what‚ and that can be healthy‚ but the human psyche is not built to be humiliated by thousands or millions. If you are a mental health professional‚ teacher‚ or administrator‚ Bad Therapy is a must-read. It challenges many of the baked-in assumptions of the psychological field and their gradual descent into the classroom. It may also inculcate a healthy dose of humility on the part of experts and engender a greater collective pause before practitioners rush to diagnose or prescribe a remedy for a mental malady that may be transient — or not present at all. If you are a Gen X or Millennial parent‚ you need this book. If you are a Gen Z kid‚ now grown up‚ it’s a good buy for you too. All generations will come away with a new understanding of their potential. For the parents‚ you will begin to trust yourself and your instincts with your child. You might trade the tower of gentle parenting books for a few more practical choices (that Shrier generously supplies). You will now realize what is actually happening in your child’s school. You will stop labeling your child and banish those from your life who call them disordered. And maybe‚ just maybe‚ you’ll take away that phone. The post Gen Z Has Had Enough Therapy appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.

The Hoover Institution’s Stephen Kotkin is probably America’s top Kremlinologist. He knows Russia — its history‚ culture‚ and politics — as well or better than any contemporary scholar in the United States. He is in the process of completing the third and final volume of his magisterial biography of Joseph Stalin. And he has written a lengthy essay in Foreign Affairs that plots five likely futures for Russia. Policymakers in the United States‚ Europe‚ and Asia should take note. Kotkin’s essay is about Russia after Putin — what comes next when Putin leaves the scene. Kotkin believes that Putin fancies himself a new tsar‚ but in reality he has created a “personalistic autocracy” that will likely present Russia with a succession crisis rather than a smooth transition of power. Putin’s mortality and what Kotkin calls “larger structural factors” will contribute to shaping Russia’s future. This is not just a scholarly exercise. Kotkin urges Western leaders to “extrapolate from current trends in a way that can facilitate contingency planning” for post-Putin Russia. He imagines five possible futures for Russia. At the outset of the essay‚ Kotkin suggests that Western leaders approach Russia with realism informed by history. The United States and its Western allies‚ he writes‚ have hopefully learned that we cannot transform or shape Russia (or China) into liberal democracies. Russia‚ he notes‚ is a civilization “that long predat[ed] the founding of the United States” and is a country that cannot be separated from its customs‚ traditions‚ culture‚ and history by well-meaning platitudes about a rules-based international order. The same goes for China. Instead of trying to “shape Russia’s trajectory‚” Kotkin writes‚ U.S. and Western policymakers “should prepare for whatever unfolds.” He describes Russia as having a “statist and monarchical tradition” that is part of its peoples’ DNA. The late‚ great Kremlinologist Richard Pipes in his book Russia Under the Old Regime called it “patrimonialism‚” which he described as “a regime where the rights of sovereignty and those of ownership blend to the point of becoming indistinguishable” and where “political power is exercised in the same manner as economic power.” “In a patrimonial state” like Russia‚ Pipes explained‚ “there exist no formal limitations on political authority‚ nor rule of law‚ nor individual liberties.” Political life is rooted in the persons of the rulers. The Bolshevik coup d’etat ushered in a police state and eventually Stalinism. Today’s Russia‚ Kotkin notes‚ is not Stalinist. Putin‚ as bad as he is‚ is not the monster that Stalin was. Kotkin describes Putinism as “an authoritarian‚ resentful‚ mystical nationalism grounded in anti-Westernism‚ espousing nominally traditional values‚ and borrowing incoherently from Slavophilism‚ Eurasianism‚ and Eastern Orthodoxy.” One possible post-Putin future is Russian retrenchment‚ which Kotkin believes could be forced upon Putin’s successor as a result of demographics‚ economics‚ and a stalemated Ukraine war. A second possible future is Russia as a “vassal” of China in a reversal of roles from the Sino-Soviet bloc of the early 1950s. Kotkin believes that the renewed Sino-Russian “strategic partnership” largely rests on the personal relationship between Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping as well as a common interest in undermining the U.S.-led global order. The foundations of the relationship‚ however‚ are otherwise “brittle‚” according to Kotkin. A third future involves Russia emerging as a “gigantic North Korea … dependent on China but still able to buck Beijing” when it suits Russia’s rulers to do so. Russia‚ in this scenario‚ could play the “America card” against China the same way the Nixon administration used the “China card” against Moscow in the early 1970s. Kotkin’s fourth future scenario is a post-Putin Russia in chaos and anarchy that falls victim territorially to a predatory China and even Japan‚ and where armed criminal groups struggle for power and privilege‚ including to control nuclear and biological weapons. Kotkin’s final scenario is Russia as a Eurasian great power “operating as a key arbiter of world affairs” with renewed ties to Europe in a multi-polar balance of power. The United States and the West must prepare for whatever emerges from a post-Putin Russia. “Peace comes through strength‚ combined with skillful diplomacy‚” Kotkin writes. “[T]he rise of a Russian nationalist who acknowledges the long-term price of extreme anti-Westernism‚” he continues‚ “remains the likeliest path to a Russia that finds a stable place in the international order.” He suggests that U.S. diplomats endeavor to negotiate an end to the Ukraine war on terms that both sides can accept‚ and to pursue what he labels as a “pro-Russian policy” that provides incentives for a post-Putin Russia to a version of detente without forcing Russia to embrace democracy. Until then‚ Kotkin suggests the possibility (which appears remote at best) of “asking China to help restrain Russia” in the interests of maintaining global peace. Russia’s future may not neatly fall into any of Kotkin’s scenarios‚ but U.S. policymakers would do well to consider approaching global geopolitics with a Kotkinesque realism that abandons ideological straitjackets like “democracy vs. autocracy” in favor of order and stability in the service of peace. READ MORE: At 75‚ Remember NATO Objective of Rearming Europe Most Americans Can’t Find Ukraine on a Map. That Doesn’t Dilute Our Duty to Defend It. Russian Self-Destruction Helps America The post What Will Happen to Russia After Putin&;#63; appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.

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Born on January 17‚ 1922‚ in Oak Park‚ Illinois‚ Betty White’s career spanned seven decades and was filled with memorable roles that showcased her versatility and charm. White was a pioneer from the start‚ creating‚ producing‚ and starring in “Life with Elizabeth” in the 1950s‚ making her one of the first women to exert control in the male-dominated television industry. Her blend of sweetness and wit won hearts on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” as Sue Ann Nivens‚ earning her two Emmy Awards. However‚ it was her role as Rose Nylund on “The Golden Girls” that solidified her status as a beloved cultural icon. Beyond acting‚ White was a dedicated animal welfare advocate‚ supporting various organizations and serving on the board of the Los Angeles Zoo Commission. White continued to entertain and inspire throughout her life‚ even hosting “Saturday Night Live” at the age of 88 after a massive fan campaign on Facebook‚ earning yet another Emmy for her performance. Betty White passed away on December 31‚ 2021‚ just shy of her 100th birthday. The post Stunning photos of a young Betty White first appeared on History Defined.

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