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A Long Letter of Condolence to All the Losers
My condolences to illegal immigrants, to drug dealers, and to the apostles of the climate apocalypse. My condolences to Taylor Swift (being pretty does not equate to smart), to Palestinian terrorism, and to European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen — who is center-right but with an eternal yearning for leftism.
My condolences to the terrorists of the Islamic State, to the Bolivarian thieves, and the stupid bureaucrats of European social democracy.
My condolences to Paul Krugman, the economist who claimed it was all lies, the New York pickpockets, and to BLM.
My condolences to Hollywood, to the idiot French President Emmanuel Macron, and to the lunatic Secretary-General of the U.N. António Guterres and his climate hysteria.
My condolences to the communists infiltrating the World Health Organization, to the ideological garbage at the U.N., to the outraged pangolin, to the Davos Forum, to Bill Gates’s fake hamburgers, and all the globalists who wanted to carve up our world right under our noses.
My condolences to the armchair progressives, to the caviar left, to the rich who shelter in tax havens and would teach us all lessons in dignity, progressivism, and patriotism.
My condolences (only a bit) to the Obama clan and the Democratic Party (great job, Barack), to the New York Times, to Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, to Open Arms, to the world health nazis, and to those who do business by mutilating the genitalia of minors.
My condolences to the warmists, to the scientists who have traded science for ideology, to those who hate the traditional family, to the worshipers of ugliness, to those who want to force electric cars on us, to those who want to Europeanize the blessed American soil, and to those who celebrate the blood of every single abortion.
My condolences to Hunter Biden and his computer, to his hair-sniffing father, and to the cynical Hillary Clinton, who wasted a wonderful opportunity to prove that there was still someone with a brain cell left in that house.
My condolences to World Economic Forum Executive Chairman Klaus Schwab; to the cretinous King Charles III; to the annoying Leonardo DiCaprio, and his ideological Titanic; to Eminem, the clown; to the eternally single cat lady Sarah Jessica Parker; to the kitchen-brained José André; and to the great actor — but only an actor — Robert De Niro, who never fails to support the wrong cause at the wrong time.
My condolences to the socialists of the world, to the incompetent and criminal government of Spain (led by the ultra-left Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez), and to those who want us to turn off the air conditioning during the month of August.
My condolences to the Planned Parenthood baby dismemberers (of course I’m kidding!), to the lunatic and sicko Anthony Fauci, to the CNN bigots, and to all of the Big Reboot promoters.
My condolences to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her “tax the rich” costume, to flip-flopping Mark Zuckerberg, and to the frustrated, incense-drinking Buddhist monk, Jack Dorsey.
My condolences to the worst president in history, Jimmy Carter, who is in fierce competition with Joe Biden and Barack Obama, and to polar bear stalker Al Gore.
My condolences to the idiots at Disney who destroyed the great duck and mouse empire only to end up rewriting the classics and releasing woke rubbish that bores children.
My condolences to the corrupt teachers who invite transsexuals into children’s classes, to the new campus anti-Semites wearing Palestinian headscarves, and to all of the old anti-Semitic pigs.
My condolences to those who won’t let you call someone who is black “black” but will call someone who is white “white.”
My condolences to those who want boys to wear skirts and play ball as girls, to those who get laid fewer times in their entire lives than the number of pronouns they need on official forms, and to those who are destroying women’s sports by allowing men to swim in their pools. And, to the pediatrician Assistant Secretary for Health Richard Leland Levine, who is out of his mind and, in lieu of therapy, expects us all to be crazy enough to call him Rachel Leland Levine.
My condolences to the Bilderberg Group sociopaths, to those who want Islam to expand into America and Europe, and to those who only defend private property when it is their own mansion. And to those who dress up, as if they are poor, to dissimulate and appear empathetic while they perpetuate ideologies that generate poverty.
My condolences to the bastards who wanted to make us eat crickets, to Sen. Bernie Sanders and the new communists, and to the big media groups rotten with moral corruption and wokeism, always turning their backs on the people.
My condolences to the creators of the COVID epidemic, to those who refused to investigate the Wuhan lab, and to those who wanted us to believe that it all started with some Chinese guy nibbling on a bat.
My condolences to those who despise Ivanka Trump and all real women, to those who wanted to assassinate the Republican candidate, and to the crazed Never Trumpers who would rather destroy the nation with Kamala Harris than vote for their despised Republican nominee.
My condolences to the warmongers, to those who are always willing to sit down and negotiate with terrorists, and to those who rejoice when they see a church on fire.
My condolences, in short, to all of them. I’m so sorry. May they rest in peace.
To quote myself as I ended my election analysis today in a Spanish newspaper: “The fall of the Democratic Party on Nov. 5, 2024, for all its consequences and significance, will eventually be seen as something as relevant as the fall of the Berlin Wall. In time.”
P.S. Apologies for the shameless plug, but I must celebrate with you that one of the victors on the evening of Nov. 5 was my book, I Will Not Eat Crickets: An Angry Satirist Declares War on the Globalist Elite. It is more relevant today than yesterday.
P.P.S. I’m leaving now but first a toast, God bless America!
READ MORE:
A Dozen Thoughts on a Historic Election
Trump’s Morning in America
Donald Trump Wins!
Kamala’s Conceited Cunctatious Concession
The post A Long Letter of Condolence to All the Losers appeared first on The American Spectator | USA News and Politics.
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