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Wheeler Walker Jr.’s Claim That Sturgill Simpson Was A Paid CIA Asset Is One Of The Best Country Music Conspiracy Theories Of All Time
One of the best conspiracy theories in the country music space.
I love a good conspiracy theory, from the ones that everyone is familiar with, like the moon landing, to ones specific to a particular fanbase, like the one that claims famed rapper, Tupac, is still alive, and of course, the classic country music theory that Garth Brooks is a serial killer (Where are the bodies, Garth?). A conspiracy theory of any shape or size is going to have my ears perked. And while some are extremely outlandish, some sound rather believable. Hell, some are downright true…
Last week, I mentioned that Wheeler Walker Jr. had been protesting bro country long before Charley Crockett and Gavin Adcock had a falling out, sparking the latest feud in the country genre. While that drama is a separate story, one of our readers reminded us that one of her favorite Wheeler Walker Jr. moments was not him protesting but instead him trying to convince Joe Rogan of a conspiracy theory he has about Sturgill Simpson.
This is a theory that I frankly forgot about, but revisiting the Joe Rogan episode reminded me A) why Wheeler Walker Jr. is a national treasure and B) that this might be one of the best conspiracy theories in country music.
In 2016, Wheeler Walker Jr. appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience and shared that he believes that Sturgill Simpson is a government asset. More specifically, a CIA assassin. He opened up his theory by sharing that he’s a huge fan of Stu, but they were not on speaking terms at the time due to this outlandish theory.
“We had a falling out recently. You couldn’t find a bigger Sturgill fan than me. I was listening to his record on the way over here, but he won’t f****** talk to me.”
Naturally, this leads Rogan to ask Walker Jr. what happened for the two of them not to be on speaking terms.
“In an interview, I said that he was, this is honestly what I believe. I think he is… you’re going to laugh when I say it, but I swear this is what I f****** believe. I think he’s a paid CIA assassin. I’ll just let that sink in for a second. I think he’s taking motherf***** out. And I confronted him about it.”
Rogan then asks how he came to this theory and if he watched a YouTube video that led him to this conclusion that he’s a CIA assassin.
“I knew him back in Kentucky, and this f***** goes to the Navy, right? Imagine he works for he government. Imagine being in the Navy and you look next to you and some guy just picks up a guitar and starts singing, and it’s Sturgill Simpson. Imagine that. There’s no f***** way. The greatest singer, guitarist. One of the best ones in the world right now, would you agree with that? He’s just sitting next to you on a f****** boat, and he decides, ‘You know what? I want to leave the Navy.‘”
Rogan then interjects, noting that he completed his term, and that’s why he left the Navy. While it’s true that he left the Navy, given that you are obligated to eight years in the Navy as your term of service, Simpson’s 3 years of service is short of that. There are some theories online that Simpson was discharged due to drug use, but Simpson has confirmed none of that.
In an interview with Rolling Stone in 2015, Simpson shared that he’s struggled with addiction in the past, and admitted that: “There’s a lot of drugs taking place on warships. You wouldn’t believe how many guys are watching radars and tripping on acid,” which further fueled the rumor that the statement might have had to do with some of his doings while on warships as well.
However, Wheeler Walker Jr. thinks that he left the Navy for other reasons… because the CIA recruited him.
“He didn’t go AWOL, so why is he f****** out? … He leaves, right? All the sudden out of nowhere he just puts out f****** records. So if you’re in the government and you want to take some f***** out, put their d**k in the dirt, like I’m saying, take those motherf**k*** down. What’s the best way to do it? And this has been done before by some other Hollywood stars.”
Rogan, naturally, was still looking for more solid evidence to support this theory, other than the fact that he left the Navy before his term concluded.
Wheeler Walker Jr.’s primary evidence to support this fact is that country singers tour more than most genres, which allows him to be constantly mobile, and he can get in and out of a city quickly to perform a job. Simpson has also toured outside of the United States numerous times, and more than your average country musician.
Walker Jr. makes the point that he’s on secret missions during these out-of-country tours because no one in Europe is listening to country music; however, in today’s era of streaming, we know that is far from the truth, and they are often more familiar with an artist’s complete catalog than fans in the United States.
“He’s toured England 10 times. Who’s your favorite country music artist from England? They don’t listen to f****** country music… He’s going over there and f****** killing people… you go down his tour list, and check it with the papers with enemies of the state who’ve been taking out, that s**t f****** lines up. I think it does… the specifics…I can’t…
Anyway, I got a little stoned and I thought this was what happened and I should have asked him about it, which is true, but… Well, I should have said to his face, I did it on a couple of radio shows. Now he won’t, why won’t he confront me about it? Because it’s true.”
While Walker Jr. admitted that he should have asked Simpson to his face, he feels that if this theory is true, he’s protecting himself by speaking about it publicly because if he were to disappear suddenly, it would prove that Simpson could have been responsible.
Wheeler Walker Jr. also hypothesized that Simpson’s record, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth, was a warning to his kids not to get involved in the line of work that he is involved in. Of course, that part of his theory only rings true if he is an assassin. In any other world, the cautionary tunes found on A Sailor’s Guide to Earth could apply to many other areas of life.
The whole time that Walker Jr. is detailing this theory, Joe Rogan and his production team are laughing. I mean, it’s a stretch, but you’ve got to admire the “Drop ‘Em Out” singer’s dedication to convincing Rogan that his is fact and not a conspiracy theory.
Nearly a decade after this episode aired, it still makes me laugh.
However, on a subsequent podcast with Joe in 2017, Wheeler walked back his claim, maintaining that his retraction was not for “lawyer reasons.” Sure…
“By the way, and this is not for lawyer reasons, but Sturgill Simpson is not affiliated with the CIA nor is he a trained CIA assassin. I want want to get that on the record last time it’s possible I may have mentioned that. He has no affiliation with the CIA he’s doing some weird gigs in Europe this this year that look a little fishy to me and I don’t get it. He’s doing some dates in Europe with John Prine, I think John Prine kind of you know talks to him and settles him down.”
Whatever you say, Wheeler…
These two clearly moved past some of their differences after sharing this conspiracy theory because a few years later, they teamed up with Tyler Childers for an epic performance of “Sit On My Face.” The trio instead came together in 2018 at the Hinterland Music Festival in St. Charles, Iowa, and it’s the most unexpected yet delightful collaboration.
Fire it up while you’re here.
The post Wheeler Walker Jr.’s Claim That Sturgill Simpson Was A Paid CIA Asset Is One Of The Best Country Music Conspiracy Theories Of All Time first appeared on Whiskey Riff.
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