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Here’s How Trump Should Debate Adderall Joe
I cannot tell President Trump how to debate Joe Biden, but here is what I would do if I were him.
I would not interrupt him, even if my mike were not shut off, per the rules. He will be pumped up before this debate — not with natural adrenaline but with every substance banned in the Olympics, baseball, football, and ballroom dancing. To that, he probably will add 100 grams of prednisone, ten bottles of Sudafed, and all the Adderall, Ritalin, Didrex, Bontril, Preludin, Fastin, Adipex, Ionamin, Meridia, meth, and cocaine that Hunter can acquire for him from the friends he has made over the years. (Now you know why Biden has allowed so many people associated with M-13 and South American drug cartels across the border and ordered their “catch and release.” Only the best for The Big Guy.) He presumably will wash it all down with Red Bull. In his search for stimulants, he may even contact Nike to ask whether they have any “leather uppers.” (READ MORE: Is Biden On The Way Out? I’m Not So Sure.)
Really, for this debate, each candidate should have to undergo a mandatory drug test.
I would let him talk uninterrupted because the longer he talks, the greater probability that he will bamboozle himself, start mumbling and doddering, and get into one of those . . . uh, uh, uh, you know — the thing!
But mainly I would let him talk uninterrupted because, as he starts to settle in, he will start lying. He can’t help it. He is a congenital liar, a pathological liar. It is in his lifeblood. Therefore, that is where I would be especially focused: to catch him in his lies. Don’t let them slip by. Because if I were focused only on what I have to say, I would miss the red meat he would be serving.
So, yes, I would have my ducks in a row for talking about illegal immigration, the porous southern border, the double-digit millions of illegals, Laken Riley, Rachel Morin, and Jocelyn Nungaray murdered by illegals. Inflation soaring wildly and food prices so high that American families now skip one meal a day, some occasionally eat dog food, and cannot afford an occasional stop at a coffee shop. Gasoline is twice the price it was four years ago. The mess in Ukraine happened because Putin saw America now is led by a befuddled wimp who talks about beating up people in a woodshed but leaves 13 American servicemen and women to be killed as he abandons Afghanistan, tail between his legs, and needs a rabbit to guide him off a stage. (READ MORE: Could a Biden Debate Disaster Propel Newsom to the Nomination?)
I would remind him that America had become a net exporter of energy before he came in. That the world was buying our fuel, and we no longer had to beg dictatorial apartheid Arab oil sheikhdoms to buy their filthy oil. That our drilling in ANWR and our hydraulic fracturing was not hurting the environment, but was adding American jobs and clean energy. That we were making oil, clean gas, and clean coal affordable at home because of the law of supply and demand. I would remind him that we had choked Iran and its mullahs with our intense and severe sanctions while cutting off their oil sales as we made clear to countries everywhere that we would sanction them if they patronized Iran. I would remind him that those sanctions left Iran unable to finance terror worldwide with the same unlimited purse that they now have to finance Hamas, Hezbollah, Houthis, and every terrorist in the world who wants to murder.
I would remind him that practically no one had heard of Houthis before him, except when mistakenly ordering Tutti-Frutti-Houthi at an ice cream parlor. I would remind him that, under my administration, we created the Abraham Accords, and one Arab Muslim country after another after another after another made peace with Israel. And then he came in, and not a single additional Arab country joined the Abraham Accords during his entire term. Instead, Hamas butchers invaded Israel and murdered 1,200 men, women, children, and babies, raping women left and right, cutting off heads, putting babies into ovens and baking them alive. I would note that Putin never started a war during my four years because he understood me and that he invaded Ukraine on Biden’s watch because he understood him.
I would remind him that, under my leadership, inflation was low, housing was affordable, and blacks had their lowest unemployment numbers ever, as did Latinos and women.
And I would remind him of his lies, I would listen for new ones or just reflect on his Golden Oldies. Take, for instance, the speech of Aug. 23, 1987, when he looked people in the eye and passionately talked about his personal life and biography, about his father working in the coal mines and his wife who never got a chance because she had no platform — and then it turned out that he was not telling about his own life but simply lifting a speech from British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock about his life, Kinnock’s progenitors in the coal mines, Kinnock’s wife without the platform.
I would remind him how he called the Hunter Biden laptop “Russian misinformation,” but now his own federal prosecutors have used that laptop as verified evidence in federal court. How he told everyone he had been arrested at a civil rights anti-apartheid protest in South Africa while trying to visit Nelson Mandela — a lie. How he told reporters he attended law school on a full academic scholarship when, in fact, it was only half a scholarship based on financial need, not academics. How he bragged that his IQ was so high that he graduated law school in the top group of his law school class when, in fact, he graduated at the bottom, 76th of 85 students. That he was caught plagiarizing in law school. That he lied, claiming he participated in civil rights marches, boycotts, and sit-ins — or that he used to drive an 18-wheeler. His lie that he visited the Pittsburgh temple after a terrorist attack or his lie to Naval Academy graduates was that he, too, had applied to the Naval Academy. (READ MORE: Joe Biden’s Executive Amnesty Is Illegal, Unjust, and Self-Defeating)
How he falsely claimed he risked his life in Afghanistan under gunfire to personally hand deliver a medal to an American soldier when he never did anything of the kind. Or that he was shot at in Iraq. Or the unnecessary lie that he saw a Pittsburgh bridge collapse. Or his bogus story about an uncle eaten by a cannibal (even before food became so expensive under Bidenomics). Or that his house burned down, almost melting his Corvette and killing his wife, dog, and cat (there was a small fire in the kitchen). And I would tell him that the left-leaning Snopes fact-checker finally had debunked his lie about what I said at Charlottesville, when I explicitly condemned Nazis and White Supremacists, while he claimed that he decided to run for president because he said I said other things I never said. His claim that he took over as president when inflation was 9 percent, when it was only 1.4 percent, and he then grew it out of control. His lie that he stood at Ground Zero the day after the Twin Towers fell.
Biden is a pathological liar. He can’t stop. Three lies in one speech. The Hill reported he told seven lies in one week. In an interview with Erin Burnett at CNN, he told just under one lie per minute: 15 lies in 17 minutes. That is an Olympic-quality pace, worthy of a Wheaties box, like Bruce Jenner or whatever he calls himself now. It will be interesting to hear what he fabricates on Thursday night. If he gets caught, he should not be released. No “getaways” on Thursday night.
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