The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion. Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.How to have a constructive conversationLet’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…” People coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position. It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes. Phrases you can use to avoid an argumentThe curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”Here are some other phrases you can use:“I wonder if…”“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”“I might be wrong, but…”“How funny! I had a different reaction…”“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…” Two men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos What's the best way to disagree with people?A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration. “Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC. In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls. This article originally appeared last year.

"You'll never love again." The post ‘Blackbird’: how Nina Simone’s first writing credit defines her entire career first appeared on Far Out Magazine.

by Michael Snyder, End Of The American Dream: It takes strength to be free.  That is why they want us to be weak.  When we are weak, we are much more likely to become dependent upon the system to survive, and that makes us much easier to control.  So they give us junk to eat, […]

by Cristina Laila, The Gateway Pundit: An American Airlines flight originating in Connecticut en route to Reagan Airport was forced to abort its landing due to a helicopter just one day before an American Airlines flight collided with a Blackhawk helicopter. According to FlightAware, American Airlines flight 4514 from Windsor Locks, Connecticut was forced to loop […]

from And We Know: TRUTH LIVES on at https://sgtreport.tv/

Your coffee will instantly taste better! READ MORE...