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Over the past 15 years or so, a trend known as gentle parenting has gained popularity among mostly millennial parents. The parenting style emphasizes emotional validation, empathy, respect, and understanding over punishment. Proponents of gentle parenting say it promotes healthy bonds between parent and child as well as emotional intelligence and confidence.However, critics of gentle parenting say that it can easily slip into becoming permissive parenting, where boundaries erode. It can also lead to children growing up with difficulty following orders or anyone telling them "no."Jaclyn Williams, a graduate student in clinical mental health counseling who specializes in child and adolescent therapy, recently kicked the parenting hornet’s nest with a viral Instagram reel in which she laments raising her two children with gentle parenting over the past 10 years. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jaclyn | Child Therapy Clinical Training (@breakingcycles.co)What's wrong with gentle parenting?In the comments, Williams recounts her journey, admitting she backslid from gentle to permissive parenting. This led to a lack of boundaries and had profound impacts on her children. One child became a people-pleaser who suppressed their real feelings, absorbed everyone’s emotions, and became withdrawn. The other became anxious, insecure, neglected, and emotionally dysregulated.The changes became profound after Williams moved her family across the country and began easing up on the rules. "I felt like I was protecting them or really just letting them feel all their feelings, but what ended up happening was they were looking at me to help them regulate and for safety and security, not join them in their feels," Williams told Newsweek. "My kids were longing for the safety, security, and structure—a leader, so to say." A mom has her hair pulled by her child.via Canva/PhotosSeeing the results of her parenting style, Williams shifted to an authoritative style, emphasizing high warmth (connection, validation, empathy) and high structure (clear boundaries, consistent limits, natural consequences). Soon she saw her kids become less anxious, more confident, less entitled, and better at regulating their emotions.Williams' post received significant criticism from parents who practice gentle parenting, many of whom argued that her issues stemmed from being too permissive. "Thank you for acknowledging the fact that what you did was permissive parenting, not gentle parenting. Gentle parents still hold hard boundaries," BareFootNTP wrote. But Williams stuck by her post, adding that it’s very easy for gentle parents to backslide. Gentle parenting can become permissive parenting"The point is to show how easily it is to slip into permissive parenting, especially when life happens. Everyone is so quick to defend gentle parenting; nobody is seeing the human side. A first-time mom trying her best, dealing with their own childhood issues, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, and trying to raise those sweet babies better.... the point is to help others and create space for understanding, empathy, and compassion," she wrote in the comments.Williams posted a follow-up video to double down on her change in parenting style. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jaclyn | Child Therapy Clinical Training (@breakingcycles.co)In the comments, Williams noted that many gentle parents who achieved similar outcomes reached out to her. "Here's what I want you to know: You didn't mess it up," Williams wrote. "High warmth is beautiful. But without structure? It creates anxiety. And nobody told you that."

An entire extended family pranked their matriarch in a way that's making hundreds of thousands of people celebrate. It's not an easy feat, as pranks can often come off as insensitive or they simply don't work out as intended, but in the case of Paige Kampsen's family, it was utter perfection. Kampsen shared a video with the explanation, "Seeing how long it takes Grandma to notice us wearing her clothes." In the video, we see a large family preparing Thanksgiving dinner, milling about, chatting, and doing puzzles together while also surreptitiously going into Grandma's bedroom one by one. Every family member takes an item of clothing from her closet, puts it on, and rejoins the family in the dining room and kitchen area. Meanwhile, Grandma is bustling around, completely oblivious to her family’s antics.That is, until she notices one unmistakable item from her closet. See on Instagram The robe was too much to miss. Grandma's "What the hell?!" as she began noticing her clothing on the rest of the family was hilarious, and the way she laughed as hard as everyone else speaks to the joy of a close family with a good sense of humor. People in the comments of the video, which has been liked over a million times, absolutely loved it:"I'm so glad her genuine reaction was recorded. This is going to live rent free in her mind forever!! This is the best kind of carrying on ??""Grandmas just thought everyone was finally well dressed ?" An elderly woman. Photo credit: Canva"This is that healing laughter! You guys are rich. ? This kind of family connection isn’t something everyone gets to experience." "The cutest and sweetest prank ever. What a blessed woman!""Formally requesting an invitation to next year’s dinner! This is hilarious!!""I love how it wasn't at ALL obvious until one of them wore her robe ?""It took her awhile because grandmas are too busy looking at the beautiful faces to notice the clothes. ❤️" Grandma power Giphy Naturally, no family is perfect or gets along all the time, but this example of a big crew going all in to bring a smile to Grandma's face is simply delightful. People who have lots of family to spend holidays with may forget that not everyone has that in their lives, and many people wish they did. And grandparents aren't just nice to have around (absent problematic family dynamics). Research shows that grandparents have a profound effect on the development of kids' cognitive and verbal abilities, mental health, and overall well-being. "Recent research suggests that grandparent involvement during childhood, conceptualized as the amount of contact and emotional closeness, is positively linked to emotional development, cognitive functioning, and social adjustment in early adulthood," writes Dr. Thomas R. Verny. "The lessons learned from grandparent-grandchild relationships in childhood, especially those related to spirituality and moral development, persist into early adulthood."And the benefits often flow both ways. Grandparent involvement in kids' lives can stave off the loneliness and isolation that is often experienced by aging adults, according to Michigan Medicine, which is a link to the mental health and overall well-being of elderly folks.Of course, it helps if you have a grandparent who is as playful and quick to laugh as Grandma Kampsen. What a wonderful holiday memory for all of them.

Over a decade ago, head coach Jerritt Elliott noticed a problem with his volleyball players. Frequently, during practices, the women would have to stop and adjust their hair, pulling their ponytails tighter, replacing a broken hair tie, or otherwise fixing an issue. According to ESPN, rather than complain about the problem, Elliott decided to tackle it head on. In 2013, he set out to learn everything he could about long hair and the challenges of keeping a ponytail in place through intense athletic activity. He interviewed friends, former players, and even Olympic athletes about their experiences with hair ties. Some complained about how they didn't hold. Others complained about headaches or damaged hair. Elliott spent $80 buying every kind of hair tie his athletes might use to see how they were made and how they functioned. "People that know me know that I have a wild brain," he told ESPN. "I'm very entrepreneurial."Through all of this research, he came up with an idea: A very long, thin elastic that could be wrapped around a ponytail as many times as necessary to get the desired hold. He didn't know if he had a great idea or not, but he soon found out. See on Instagram Around the time Elliott was developing the idea, he met the woman he would later marry—Italian volleyball player Andrea Nucete. Elliott gave her a prototype of his hair tie idea, which she tossed into her car's glove compartment and forgot about. "I was like, 'Why would I tie my own hair tie? What is the benefit? I don't trust the bald guy,'" she told ESPN.But after two hair ties broke during a beach volleyball game, she remembered Elliott's tie in her car and gave it a try. "I used the entire 34-inch version of the product, put it in my hair, called him right after," she said. "I say, 'We have something here. 100%. This is different.'"The couple worked for four more years to perfect the product, trying out various combinations of elastic and fabric to see what would meet the desired criteria of strong enough to hold the hair securely yet soft enough not to cause damage. They ultimately landed on a rubber core covered in a woven fabric sheath that would expand and retract without grabbing individual hairs. - YouTube www.youtube.com In 2018, Elliott and Nucete got married and officially launched their TIY Products business.The TIY hair tie comes in two lengths, 34 inches and 51 inches, the latter of which is designed to be used with the Pro 2.0 cutting case, which allows users to trim their TIY ties to any size they wish. The cost is significantly higher than a standard hair tie—$8.50 for one standard-length TIY—but Nucete-Elliott told ESPN she knows players who have used the same TIY through all four years of their NCAA volleyball careers. It's not something one can say for your average hair tie. See on Instagram Players seem to love it. "You put it in at 8 a.m. one day, and the rest of the day, through a game, it stays in place. You don't have to think about it," TCU middle blocker Sarah Sylvester told ESPN."I feel like it's definitely made the process easier and made my hairstyles look cleaner," said Louisville setter Nayelis Cabello. "And it matches my game-day outfit, so that makes it 10 times better." (The TIY comes in 35 different colors.) The TIY has been making its way around to other women's sports, partially thanks to players sharing them on TikTok. @sydney_parrishh TIY making its way to womens basketball ??? #tyi #hairtok #hairstyle #wbb #womensbasketball #volleyball #indiana #iu #hair #hairtie #ponytailtutorial In a 2019 PureWow review of hair ties, the TIY got strong ratings from editors who struggled to get a good fit out of other hair ties. "The adjustable sizing is a game changer, especially for working out or if you need something strong," said one editor. The only complaint was that it was hard to make it look neat: "It’s tricky to master, so the finished result can look unkempt." That may not matter as much on the court, though, and it seems that the less-polished look of the tie has become standard to see in women's sports. "As women, we have different hair textures and hair types," says Nucete-Elliott in a TIY video, "so we created something that is 13 times stronger, twice as stretchy than a regular elastic, and it's customizable so that you can adapt it to your hair and be able to be used in any aspect of your life."It's pretty wild that one of the best products we've seen for long hair originated with a man who doesn't even have any. You can find TIY Products and learn more about them here.

For many families, Santa is a beloved part of the holiday season…until the inevitable happens, and kids start asking questions. Because treading that fine line between preserving holiday magic and avoiding gaslighting is precarious. One mom named Martha, aka @read_between_the_whines on TikTok, unfortunately did not strike that balance last year, and inadvertently "ruined" Christmas for her daughter. And now she’s sharing her "cautionary tale" in hopes that it will help other parents navigate those early curious years, especially with what she calls "cuspy kids" who are beginning to connect the dots.In her video, Martha explained that she used to be someone who was determined to stay completely truthful with her children. So once the holidays rolled around and her oldest began asking pointed questions, she tried to keep things vague without directly lying."Last year, the whole season, my oldest was saying things to me that's making me go, 'Okay, she's questioning the validity of this. Tread lightly.' I would try not to lie," she said.When Martha’s daughter finally did ask outright if Santa was real, she simply responded with, "A lot of people believe he is."But on Christmas morning, after Martha’s three-year-old opened a much bigger gift, her daughter voiced concerns again, saying, "I don't think Santa came for me."Thinking this was the perfect moment to offer a gentle explanation and give her kiddo some clarity, Martha said: "You know how Anna and Elsa are very fun ideas to imagine? Well, similarly, Santa is an idea. He's a really, really fun magical thing to imagine. Santa did come for you. Daddy and I are Santa."And that’s when everything went downhill. Her daughter cried, she cried, and everything was a huge emotional mess. "Watching the innocence and magic leave your child’s body is one of the most devastating things I've ever experienced," she shared. This left poor Martha with only one conclusion: Ride that "gray line" as long as possible, and only answer what kids are directly asking you (in this instance, it was the question of whether Santa had come for her daughter, not whether or not Santa was real). @read_between_the_whines This one has effed me up for life. #parentingmoments #momof3 #millenialmom ♬ original sound - read_between_the_whines "Because there's nothing else in life that we lie to our children about," she said. "And if this is going to bring them a little bit of magic, and then they naturally come to the conclusion that this just actually doesn't make that much sense, let them get there on their own."The comments on her video show just how emotionally loaded this moment can be for families.One person wrote, "I'm 34 and my mom has still never said Santa isn't real."Another shared, "This is why we never did Santa. I don't ever want my kid to look at me and say, 'you lied to me? My whole life?'"One added, "I got to watch both my kids hear their aunt say that he isn’t real, but our family is allowed to believe if we want to. My son was on the cusp as well, but my daughter still fully believed. Heartwrenching for me. I had to leave the house for a bit so I could cry and collect myself."Another commenter wrote, "[My] daughter asked me to pinky promise, swear on my life, that I wasn’t Santa so I told her the truth and she bawled her eyes out, as did I. It was horrific."On the bright side, one person shared a heartwarming moment from their own childhood: "When I was probably 6, I saw my dad assembling a Barbie Dreamhouse on Christmas Eve. I was stunned so I was telling a friend about it. Her teenage brother overheard me and said 'you’re right. You figured it out. It’s ridiculous to think Santa visits all of the kids on earth in one night. There’s no way. Santa actually sends your gifts to your parents by UPS and your parents have to put them together for you.' That made sooooo much sense and actually had a lot of explanatory power. It allowed me to continue to believe for several more years. Now as an adult I think of the kindness of a teenage boy saving Christmas for me and for his sister. That was so sweet and I know he’s probably an amazing dad now."Every family handles this moment differently. But once that moment happens, there’s no going back. So it’s understandable that no parent looks forward to it. However, it can also be a good opportunity to teach them other ways Christmas can feel special. And that’s exactly what Martha did. In a follow-up video, she told her daughter:"I know that it feels very sad right now because you feel like the magic of Christmas is just completely gone, but what you don’t realize is that the magic of Christmas has just begun. The true magic of Christmas is when you get to be Santa for other people." @read_between_the_whines Like… fixed it but she’s still kinda sad… but is also so excited to be my helper this season. #parentingishard #millenialmom #kidsgrowingup #parentingmoments #momof3 ♬ original sound - read_between_the_whines Suddenly, instead of anguish, Martha’s daughter felt pure excitement at the thought of getting to go Christmas shopping, wrapping presents, eating Santa's cookies, and making magic for others. Martha even went the extra mile by enlisting the extended family to help welcome her daughter into the super secret "Santa Club," making it feel more like a fun rite of passage.If this isn’t grade-A parental pivoting, we don’t know what is.