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The Lighter Side
The Lighter Side
5 w

'Fear-setting': How a bestselling author conquers anxiety by writing down worst nightmares
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'Fear-setting': How a bestselling author conquers anxiety by writing down worst nightmares

What if I told you the secret to success isn't setting goals—but setting fears?In a world obsessed with vision boards and goal-setting apps, bestselling author Tim Ferriss is dropping truth bombs that flip conventional wisdom on its head: "Defining your fears is more important than defining your goals."What?This simple shift in perspective helped Ferriss change his life—and countless others—to break free from paralysis and take the bold actions he'd been dreaming about for years. - YouTube www.youtube.com Welcome to the life-changing practice of fear-setting—a monthly ritual that could be the missing piece in your personal development puzzle.Why our fears keep us stuck (and how to turn them into fuel)Picture this: You're lying in bed at 3 a.m., your mind racing about that "risky" career change you've been contemplating for years. The voice in your head whispers all the myriad ways it could go wrong—financial ruin, professional embarrassment, that meme of Marnie from Girls where she says, "Let's make fun of the girl who took a risk and put herself out there creatively." What if that were you?Here's the funny thing about fear: it's a master manipulator. Fear warps our thinking, causing our brains to exaggerate potential disasters while overlooking the cost of staying stuck. Before long, we become prisoners of our own imagination, suffering more in our minds than we would in real life.via GIPHYBut what would happen if we could flip the script? Instead of running from our fears, we could cut them open and realize that the monster we've been running from all this time was nothing more than a stack of clothes, piled up on a chair.Enter Tim Ferriss' fear-setting exercise—a systematic approach to transforming paralyzing anxiety into empowering action.The 7 questions that changed everythingTim Ferriss is an all-American multi-hyphenate: he's an entrepreneur, author, podcaster, and one of the most influential figures in today's productivity and lifestyle design space. Wired called him "the Superman of Silicon Valley." His multi-faceted empire includes five #1 New York Times bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers. Ferriss also hosts the eponymous The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, the first business/interview podcast to exceed 100 million downloads. (It has now exceeded one billion downloads, by the way.)In short, this is a person who knows a thing or two about high achievement.Tim Ferriss revealed that he dedicates up to half an hour each month to confronting his fears head-on through seven critical questions. It's a thorough and rational dissection of what scares him the most.Question 1: What's your nightmare?Define your nightmare. What is the absolute worst that could happen if you followed through with what you're considering?Get specific. Avoid writing broad fears, such as "failure." Remember, this is an activity designed to let your brain go into full disaster mode: use your creativity and imagination.For example, you want to start painting, even though you know nothing about it and are "too old" to begin a new hobby. But what would happen if you took a class or started going to museums more often? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?via GIPHYPeople start pointing and staring at you, the most out-of-touch person ever to exist? Your teacher comes to look at your work and starts laughing uncontrollably? Write it all down in painful detail. Then Ferriss advises, rate the permanent impact scale on a scale of 1-10. You'll often discover that your worst-case scenarios aren't life-ruiners—or, not even likely to happen at all.Then, ask yourself: Would it be the end of your life? Are these things really permanent? How likely would they actually happen?Question 2: How could you repair the damage?If the very worst were to happen, how could you rebuild, even temporarily? Could you get your money back from the art institution? Leave a scathing review on Yelp? Go into therapy for your troubles? Often, we discover that the road to recovery is more possible than we imagined.Question 3: What are the benefits of trying?Ask yourself, what are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more likely scenarios?Fear-setting turns into sunsetting. Let's change it up: even if you don't achieve complete success (ex., your art teacher tears up when reviewing your first painting project and suggests someone should hang it in the Louvre), what could you gain just from putting yourself out there? New skills, confidence, friends, experiences?Now, rate these benefits on a scale of 1 to 10 as well. Compare these with the numbers you provided in question #1. Are you shelving your dreams, a potential 9 (!), just because of an unrealistic fear that you rated a 3? - YouTube www.youtube.com Question 4: What if you were starting over today?If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1-3 above. If you quit your job to test other opportunities, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?This question isn't fear-mongering (remember, this is fear-setting.) It builds resilience by reminding you of your resourcefulness. Could you freelance? Take a part-time job? Sell possessions? You're more capable of handling setbacks than you think.Question 5: What are you putting off out of fear?"Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do," Ferriss rationalizes. "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have."That phone call. A difficult conversation. That creative project. Fear of the unknown often prevents us from taking the very actions that could transform our lives. Define the worst-case scenario, accept it: then do it. Promise yourself to do one thing every single day that you fear.via GIPHYQuestion 6: What's the cost of doing nothing?What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action?This may be the most crucial question of all, says Ferriss. If you don't pursue what excites you, where will you be in one year? Five years? Ten years? Inaction is the most significant risk of all.Question 7: Well, what are you waiting for?"If you cannot answer this without resorting to the concept of "good timing," the answer is simple: You're afraid, just like the rest of the world," writes Ferriss.In that case, it's time to start again: Measure the cost of inaction. Realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps. Develop the most critical action of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action. Fear-setting once a month can change your life. Photo credit: CanvaThe psychology behind why fear-setting worksFear-setting is rooted in Stoic philosophy, specifically, the practice of premeditatio malorum: deliberately imagining potential hardships to reduce their psychological impact. Modern psychology confirms what the Stoics knew all along: when we define our fears with specificity, they lose their power over us.Here's why this approach is so practical:It manages catastrophic thinking. Vague fears can feel like an ocean: overwhelming and impenetrable. However, specific fears are manageable.It reveals our hidden resilience. Most people underestimate their ability to recover from setbacks.It exposes the actual cost of inaction. No one likes losing or embarrassing themselves, but fear is a funny thing: we often ignore the losses that come from not acting.Your action plan: 30 minutes that could change your life"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." —Mark Twain.Ready to try fear-setting yourself? Set aside 30 minutes this week. Grab a notebook and work through the seven questions above. Push yourself to be brutally honest: this exercise only works if you're willing to confront your fears directly. - YouTube www.youtube.com Tim Ferriss has used this exact process to make significant decisions in his life. And remember that lengthy paragraph earlier? Things turned out pretty well for him.So, what do you have to lose? Apparently, the answer is "quite a lot." Track down your favorite pen and get to fear-setting. Your future self thanks you.
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The Lighter Side
The Lighter Side
5 w

11 helpful services your Costco membership offers that you might be missing out on
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11 helpful services your Costco membership offers that you might be missing out on

Costco is all about offering its members deals. The mega store offers two different memberships—Gold Star (which costs $65 per year) and Executive (which costs $130 per year)."Members can stretch their savings even further with an Executive Membership," Kristen Markel, founder of Warehouse Wanderer, a blog dedicated to Costco shopping strategies, tells Upworthy. "That tier earns 2% back on nearly all purchases—including travel and car rentals—so you’re essentially stacking an additional rebate on top of Costco’s already discounted rates."To help save extra money, Costco members shared on Reddit their favorite lesser-known perks that they get out of their membership. Here are 11 Costco services you may be missing out on: - YouTube www.youtube.com Car rentals"When I need a car rental my first stop to check prices is always Costco Travel," Melissa Cid, consumer savings expert for MySavings.com, tells Upworthy. "Costco Travel consistently has some of the lowest rates on car rentals! Members get a free additional driver included, which normally adds $10 to $15 per day. That perk alone can save you more than the cost of your annual membership on a single trip."Travel (hotels, cruises, vacation packages)If you're looking to take a vacation in the future, check out Costco Travel for additional deals on hotels, cruises, and vacation packages."We used Costco Travel to book our Costa Rica vacation this Summer. I get overwhelmed planning those sometimes. They made it easy to do, and they gave us a $200 gift card when we returned!" one member shared.Pet insuranceIf you have a furry friend at home, look into pet insurance options. "This perk can save pet owners hundreds of dollars a year on unexpected vet bills, while also giving them round-the-clock peace of mind," Tom Bean, VP of insurance services operations at Figo Pet Insurance, tells Upworthy. - YouTube www.youtube.com Auto and home insuranceInsuring your car and home are additional perks that Costco provides its members, who may also be eligible to receive additional discounts and benefits, such a roadside assistance, home glass repair reimbursement, and more.Prescriptions"Costco’s pharmacy has very low prices on generic prescriptions, sometimes even cheaper than insurance copays, and the same applies to many pet medications," says Cid. "Even over-the-counter medicine cabinet staples like allergy pills are dramatically cheaper than at drugstores. I buy a bottle of Kirkland allergy medicine at Costco for 75% cheaper than generics at my grocery and drugstores."Discounted gift cards"Costco members can score $100 in gift cards for about $80, and the selection includes not only restaurants and Uber Eats but I've even bought discounted Disney gift cards before!" says Cid. "If you want an easy way to save 10-25% off at a store, restaurant or entertainment then definitely checkout the current Costco gift card offerings. The physical gift cards offered in-store are great for presents around the holidays. When shopping online, the e-gift cards are quick to order for yourself for immediate use!" @aiyannace I love a good Costco run?‍↔️ #costco #membership #security #samples ChecksIf you frequently write checks, you can order them through Costco rather than your bank. "I've ordered check books for my mom. Like 75% savings vs ordering them through my bank," one member shared.Home improvementNeed to get some repairs done on your home? Costco offers home improvement services."I got a heat pump system installed by a vendor and got a great price," one member shared. "I could run it through the executive card and get cash back. About 2 years later the compressor went out. It was from a bad install and the hvac company wanted to charge me a thousands to replace it. I escalated through the ranks of the hvac company to no avail. One call to Costco corporate to complain was all it took- the hvac company apologized and replaced it for free. I appreciated having the heft of Costco behind me to make them do the right thing."Another added, "Replaced our garage doors through a preferred vendor. It was literally the exact same door we had quoted from another company, but cost was 25% lower not to mention all the rewards on top."And another member shared, "I purchased a garage door and opener through them. Worked out well and got a 15% shop card."Auto purchases and repairsYou can buy a brand new or used car through Costco's Auto Program, which also offers discounts on parts and repairs, including tires."I bought my car via Costco," one member explained. "Went into the dealership knowing what I wanted to pay and they basically offered exactly that. I showed up with my own financing and the entire process was super easy. Would absolutely do it again."Hearing aidsCostco also has a Hearing Aid Center, where members can have their hearing tested and purchase hearing aids."Friend of mine was just telling me about his experience with them with their hearing aids - super great experience and cheaper too," one member wrote.Vision testing, glasses, and contactsAnother perk Costco offers is Costco Optical, where members can have their vision tested and purchase glasses, sunglasses, and contact lenses."Just got TWO pairs of glasses w progressive lenses — one progressive lenses w all the coatings and one progressive polarized sunglasses (the exact tint I wanted) — in name brand frames for under $450!!!" one member shared.
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Classic Rock Lovers
Classic Rock Lovers  
5 w

The Foo Fighters song that makes Dave Grohl want to cry every time he sings it :”Might be the best”
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faroutmagazine.co.uk

The Foo Fighters song that makes Dave Grohl want to cry every time he sings it :”Might be the best”

Artist's favourite. The post The Foo Fighters song that makes Dave Grohl want to cry every time he sings it :”Might be the best” first appeared on Far Out Magazine.
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Classic Rock Lovers
Classic Rock Lovers  
5 w

Is David Gilmour right: Were Pink Floyd ever a prog band?
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faroutmagazine.co.uk

Is David Gilmour right: Were Pink Floyd ever a prog band?

The futility of labels. The post Is David Gilmour right: Were Pink Floyd ever a prog band? first appeared on Far Out Magazine.
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Classic Rock Lovers
Classic Rock Lovers  
5 w

The Radiohead song inspired by hatred for Jim Morrison: “Act like fucking prats”
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faroutmagazine.co.uk

The Radiohead song inspired by hatred for Jim Morrison: “Act like fucking prats”

A song born out of resentment. The post The Radiohead song inspired by hatred for Jim Morrison: “Act like fucking prats” first appeared on Far Out Magazine.
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Classic Rock Lovers
Classic Rock Lovers  
5 w

The Beatles album John Lennon thought Paul McCartney loathed: “Paul was always upset”
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faroutmagazine.co.uk

The Beatles album John Lennon thought Paul McCartney loathed: “Paul was always upset”

Nowhere near satisfied. The post The Beatles album John Lennon thought Paul McCartney loathed: “Paul was always upset” first appeared on Far Out Magazine.
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Classic Rock Lovers
Classic Rock Lovers  
5 w

The pop star Neil Young said had no real depth: “She’s peaked”
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faroutmagazine.co.uk

The pop star Neil Young said had no real depth: “She’s peaked”

No real substance for him. The post The pop star Neil Young said had no real depth: “She’s peaked” first appeared on Far Out Magazine.
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
5 w

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ Coming to MeTV This October
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www.remindmagazine.com

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ Coming to MeTV This October

Watch back-to-back episodes weeknights and Sunday nights.
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Conservative Voices
Conservative Voices
5 w

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spectator.org

Americans Would Care If the NFL Shut Down. This?

The federal fiscal year started out with a bang or a whimper, depending upon one’s perspective. The government, for the third time during Donald Trump’s two presidencies, shut down a few hours ago. This time, President Trump threatens to fire furloughed government workers rather than rehire them with back pay. This would seem the ultimate checkmate against the party of big government. But given that Americans currently face the choice of supporting the party of bigger government or the party of biggest government, both parties regard such a checkmate as toppling its own king. The president’s gambit, if it works, may forever provide Republicans a tool to shrink government — and give Democrats pause in playing games. Subscribe to The American Spectator to read Dan Flynn’s newsletter daily. 
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Conservative Voices
Conservative Voices
5 w

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spectator.org

Graham Greene’s The End of the Affair: A Reflection

This year marks the 75th anniversary of what many consider Graham Greene’s greatest novel, The End of the Affair. His most recent biographer, Richard Greene (no relation) rejects that view, arguing that his best work was the series of novels written from the mid-50s on, such as The Quiet American, A Burnt-Out Case, and The Comedians, a view I believe most readers, if not scholars, would reject. Greene today ranks as perhaps the most important English novelist of the middle years of the 20th century. Perhaps only his guilt-ridden fellow Catholic Evelyn Waugh made a greater impact. But no one matched Greene for the breath of his literary undertakings: mysteries (or, as he called them, “entertainments”) such as Brighton Rock, The Ministry of Fear, The Confidential Agent, or plays like The Potting Shed, The Living Room, and even a great screen play, the script for The Third Man. Malcolm Muggeridge once described Greene as a “saint trying to become a sinner or perhaps better, a sinner trying to be a saint.” Perhaps their mutual friend, Lady Diana Cooper, put it best: Green was a good man possessed of a devil while Waugh was a bad man for whom an angel is struggling. Green’s literary works are suffused with a sense of guilt. After the war, during which Greene served in British intelligence services, he returned to writing and in 1948 produced a critical and popular success, The Heart of the Matter, about a doomed British colonial officer in Sierra Leone. The novel, which won the James Tait Black prize, sold over 300,000 copies over the next few years and made Greene financially comfortable. It would be made five years later into a successful, if gloomy, film with the English actor Trevor Howard in the role of the doomed officer. George Orwell, with whom Greene became friendly after the war, took a dim view of the novel, thinking it self-absorbed and guilty of the snobbishness typical of Catholic novelists who believed it was better to be an erring Catholic than a virtuous pagan, while believing that there was “something distinque in being damned.” The inspiration for The End of the Affair, which appeared three years after The Heart of the Matter, was a love affair. Greene who was married to his wife Vivien Dayrell-Browning, with whom he had two children, met Catherine Walston in 1941 and immediately fell in love with her and began an affair that led to divorce and an eventual marriage. His first wife Vivian never recognized the divorce and lived into her 90s calling herself Mrs. Graham Greene. Greene began writing The End of the Affair after he had separated from Vivian and following the success of The Heart of the Matter. Around the same time, he finished the script for The Third Man. All three revolve around the protagonist’s love for a woman he can’t have and are suffused with a sense of guilt and loss. The End of the Affair, which appeared in 1951, has a roman a clef quality to it. The story is written in the first person, something unusual for Greene and perhaps revealing about its personal depth of feeling for Catherine. A writer shortly after World War II meets the husband of a woman he had an affair with. He tries to revive the affair, but she refuses, telling him that, when she thought him dead after a V-1 bombing attack, she prayed to God that, if he survived, she would give him up. Against this background, Greene explores the complexity of love — the love of the protagonist for his mistress and her love of God for saving him. The novel is a classic example of Greene’s ability to find a personal redemption in his mistress’s rejection of him. Its insights into character and motivation, even the protagonist’s survival, ring true, although some critics believe that his survival has a miraculous quality about it. The novel was a great success, earning Greene a Time cover under the title “Adultery can lead to Sainthood.” There was even talk of a possible Noble Prize, something he desperately wanted. But that year, 1951, it went to Par Lagerkvist. One wonders how many of his books are read today compared to Greene’s.  In a review for the Catholic cultural journal Commonweal, Evelyn Waugh, with whom Greene was often linked as “the two great Catholic novelists in English,” wrote that The End of the Affair was “a singularly beautiful and moving” novel and showed that Catholic novelists can produce literature of profound significance, and not just what he called ‘an advertising brochure for Catholicism.’” After reading The End of the Affair, William Faulkner went even further, describing it as “one of the best, most true and moving novels of my time in anybody’s language.” But perhaps the most interesting take on the novel came from an unusual source, Pope Pius XII. Pope Pius had met Greene and told him as a Catholic not to worry about criticisms of his work. But after reading The End of the Affair — it is interesting to know that popes read contemporary literature — Pope Pius wrote to head of the Catholic Church in England, Cardinal John Heenan, that he was worried about Greene: “I think this man is in trouble. If he ever comes to you, you must help him.” The End of the Affair remains popular today, finding a place on English lit reading lists and the literary canon. It has been turned into a film twice, first in 1956 with Deborah Kerr in a beautiful performance as the mistress and Van Johnson, a poorly cast American actor, as the protagonist. He was probably given the part to win an American audience. It was a flop. A second version in 1999 fared better with critics and the public, with the key roles played by Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes. The End of the Affair ranks with Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited as among the most popular English novels of the 20th century, interestingly despite the two authors, by their religion, standing apart from the intellectual and spiritual drift of the 20th century. John P. Rossi is professor emeritus of history at La Salle University in Philadelphia.
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