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21-year-old's poem about having dinner with himself at every age is bringing people to tears
There are truths in life that are hard to put into words, which is why we have poetry. A good poem can tap into human experiences and feelings in a way that touches us in ways prose simply can't, and when a poem resonates, it hits hard. Self-decribed "young aspiring poet" Joshua De Shutter shared a poem on Instagram that has gone viral for its simple yet profound message. With the text "If you could be friends with every year of your life" over the start of the video, De Shutter recites a spoken word poem about a dinner party with every version of himself so far.
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"I had dinner with myself 21 times last night," he begins. "They all showed up, each year of my life. Fifteen came in naive, stuck in his own head. One and two were at the end of the table, taking turns being fed by 16, who's a little distracted trying to fit in. Eleven wouldn't stop talking about how he wanted to be a policeman. Seven was soft and gentle, kind of in the corner alone. Nineteen didn't want to be there and thought about going home…"As the poem goes on, each age gets a brief description and shout out. "Because most people don't have any friends, and I have 21," he says. "Each of them who know everything that I've done, walk when I walk, run when I run. They've gone to all of the places I've gone, and none of them could relate to each other. They were different. They had nothing in common. All they knew was me. But they loved each other as the stories went around, and then five looked at me and said he was proud. That's when I really kinda started to break down, so I stood on my chair, glass in the air, I said guys I can't thank you enough for bringing me here. Both the years that made me happy and the years that showed I'm human…" People are moved by Joshua De Shutter's poetry.Photo credit: CanvaThe entire poem is worth a listen, as the outpouring of thousands of comments from people of all ages attests:"This is a very unique way to express your years. You are a pleasure to listen to. ?""'5 looked at me and said he was proud' ? This one broke me…– Man with 38 friends.""My birthday was yesterday and I had dinner with myself 27 times. Now I’m uncontrollably sobbing in bed ?""Realizing I should have been gentler on so many of my 47 friends ??""Thinking about having dinner with all 33 past versions of myself made me cry.""This made me cry as I'm drinking my morning coffee right now. ? Life gets tough, and to cope, I find myself looking back at every happy version of me as I grow older. I’m 28 now, and I miss my 16-year-old self, my 25-year-old self, all my gentler years.Hearing your poem made me realize I can visit them anytime I want. But to do that, I have to accept and love who I am now... because she’s the one carrying them all. And this.. just became my Monday reflection. More love and support for you! ?""Oh my gosh. The way I have tears in my eyes thinking back to all the different versions of me. The hurt ones, the happy ones, the I can’t wait to grow up ones. Thank you for sharing this ❤️""Damn man, you really got a way of "summarizing" how life should be seen sometimes. It's important to remember we are the product of every single person we've have ever been. Amazing text, congrats!" Being kind to ourselves isn't always easy.Photo credit: CanvaMany people found De Shutter's poem therapeutic, perhaps because learning to embrace our past self with kindness is an important element of mental well-being. As clinical therapist Hattie Awe, LPC, shared in a video about things she repeatedly tells her clients, you can't hate yourself into loving yourself. "There is no criticizing your way to confidence," she said. "There's no shitting on yourself into a version of yourself that you enjoy. It doesn't exist. And you've probably learned all of the lessons of life that you need by hating yourself. You might as well get to the fun part of life where you learn all the lessons of life by loving yourself.""So validate the past versions of yourself," she continued. "Validate the functions of the brain and the fact that it's never really cared if you were happy. Validate how easy it is to fall in the habits of cyclical behavior, given the fact that our nervous system and brain is drawn to it. Have acceptance for that and be able to move forward. But we can't act like the person before us doesn't exist. And we can't hate her for existing."So true. Thanks for the example of how to love the people we've been, Joshua. You can follow Joshua De Shutter on Instagram.
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