Reddit user cutecutejames posted a great question on the AskReddit subforum: “What is a quote from a comedian you'll never forget?” The post quickly went viral, receiving over 10,700 responses on the first day. Of the countless comedians mentioned in the thread, Norm Macdonald appears to be the most quotable.Sadly, Macdonald died of cancer in 2021, but he was famous for his outlandish musings, delivered in a dry, deliberate tone. Macdonald is best known as a stand-up comedian, but he was also memorable on television as a cast member on "Saturday Night Live" from 1993 to 1997 and on his sitcom, “The Norm Show.” Two other deceased funnymen were often quoted in the discussion, Mitch Hedberg and George Carlin.Hedberg’s comedy was based on short, memorable one-liners filled with absurdity. He passed away in 2005 from a drug overdose. George Carlin is often listed among the greatest stand-up comedians of all time and was a voice of the counterculture in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Later in life, his comedy evolved into a nihilistic criticism of American life that, for many, is still relevant today.“It's called 'the American Dream' 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it,” Carlin said.Here are 21 of the funniest and most poignant quotes from a comedian shared on the AskReddit forum.1.Jabazaba wrote:"Every time you clog a toilet, you exceeded someone’s expectations." — Unknown2.ShofarD**kSwordFight wrote:"Everybody thinks they're a comedian. Especially in my line of work." — Norm MacdonaldThis came from Macdonald's memoir, "Based on a True Story," a must-read for Norm fans. My favorite thing about this line is that it was a sort of random throwaway, almost an afterthought, as he was expressing disdain for a doctor who told a joke and got a big laugh from everyone else in the room.And that doctor's joke? It was Macdonald's own moth story.3. NotoriousREV wrote:“I’m not an adventurous person. I’ve only ever used one side of a cheese grater.” — James Acaster4.TheZMage wrote:“I’ve started cooking with wine. That sounds so fancy, cooking with wine. What I do is I get drunk and I make rice. I tell my friends ‘come over, I’m cooking with wine.’ They come over, I’m drunk, and there’s rice everywhere.” — Kevin Nealon5. Biggoofydoofus wrote:"What is it like to have four kids? Imagine you are drowning, and then someone hands you a baby." — Jim Gaffigan6.Mysterious-Judge-333 wrote:"I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread." — Mitch Hedberg7.SalveBrutus wrote:“Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money." — Robin Williams8.NecroeJoe wrote:"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." — Bob Newhart9.KingNewbie wrote:“People say someone lost their battle with cancer. But if someone dies from cancer, the cancer dies too. I’d call that a draw.” — Norm MacDonald10.ElvishMystical wrote:"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States." — Spike Milligan11.Active Oppressor wrote:"When you are on fire, and running down the street, people will get out of your way." — Richard Pryor12.Buttflakes27 wrote:"I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic...in morse code." — Emo Phillips13.ZorroMeansFox wrote:"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." — Groucho Marx14.Mikethereddit wrote:"I didn't want to be Drunk in Public. I wanted to be drunk in a bar. They THREW me into public." — Ron White15.Heckhammer wrote:"I know I'm getting older, my last birthday cake looked like a prairie fire!" — Rodney Dangerfield16.OneFingerIn wrote:"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." — George Carlin17.SoftwareAlert7192 wrote:"When you got a career there ain't enough time in the world...when you got a job there's too much time." — Chris Rock 18.Megsy73_Idgaf"She had enough plastic surgery so that when she crossed her legs, her mouth snapped open." — Joan Rivers19.NotaDogIswear wrote:"Nationalism does nothing but teach you to hate people you never met, and to take pride in accomplishments you had no part in." — Doug Stanhope20.Freedomdeliverus wrote:"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while.Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, 'Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.'And we … kill those people.'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.'It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride.And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace." — Bill HicksThis article originally appeared two years ago.

It’s hard to imagine an era when we couldn’t tell the time by checking our smartphone or wristwatch. But before a watch was even a thing, cities had bell towers that would bong every hour, on the hour, so the town’s folk knew the time. During the Industrial Revolution, things became more technologically advanced, and clock towers popped up in public places so nobody was late to work.Twelve years ago, at 12:02, the clock in the central tower at Grimsby Minster in eastern England stopped working. The church dates back to the 12th century and the central tower was added in 1365. A group of experts that worked on the restoration of London's Big Ben came out to the church and said that it would require scaffolding to get the old clock back in order and the cost would be somewhere between £40,000 ($53,250) and £50,000 ($66,600).The church feared it would have to throw a massive fundraiser to get enough money to fix its historic clock. However, two guys that work on the church’s bells had a different idea. Rick Haywood, 47, and Jay Foley, 15, were performing routine maintenance on the bells when they decided to give the clock a look.“We did not think we could do any more damage,” Haywood told The Sun. “We found various dead pigeons gumming up the bearings. Some of the bearings were very dry.”Foley believes that the clock stopped running because of its age and the fact that its gears were “very dry” and “were not in the right alignment.” The company working on Big Ben's restoration quoted \u00a350k to repair Grimsby Minster's clock which had been broken for 12 years. The local cheesemaker and a student cleaned out the dead pigeons, bought a can of WD-40 and a tub of grease and managed to fix it themselves.pic.twitter.com/CtemLy3HnB — Ant Stephen\udb40\udc67 (@Ant Stephen\udb40\udc67) 1645784538 “The minutes, hours, and seconds all have separate sections, which were out of order,” Foley added. “We got the dead pigeons out and it slowly ticked along after we greased it and cleaned it out.”“We gave it grease and WD-40 and managed to get it running,” Haywood said.The difference in cost to the church was miraculous. It could have spent tens of thousands of pounds to get the clock running, but all it cost was £6 for two cans of WD-40, and the labor charges for Haywood and Foley.The workers say the clock runs about two minutes slow because it took a little time to get everything aligned after they looked at their smartphones. The pair are proud of their work and glad they could save the minster a few quid.“The church had one or two engineers from big clock companies and they were starting at £40-50,000 to get it running again. We saved them at least £40,000 so I am hoping for a meal invite,” Haywood said.The church’s warden couldn't be more pleased with the duo’s fine work. “It’s amazing because you would not believe how much hassle you get when a church clock is not working,” he said.I don’t think there’s anything in the Bible about always asking for a second opinion after getting a quote. But it’s sure to be a lesson taught at Grimsby Minster for the foreseeable future.This article originally appeared three years ago.

There's a certain etiquette that audience members generally adhere to while watching a live performance, and that goes doubly for the opera world. But you don't have to be an opera-goer to know that it's generally frowned upon—to put it lightly—for a member of the audience to stand up and start singing right in the middle of an opera singer's performance. It ain't Lollapalooza, for crying out loud. But an audience member adding his voice to an opera performance was exactly what happened at the Verdi Festival in Parma, Italy in 2022. According to Classic FM, renowned soprano Lisette Oropesa was performing an encore at the end of her recital, singing the female part from "Sempre Libera" (Always Free) from Verdi's "La traviata." The song is a duet, usually sung between a female soprano and a male tenor, but she was performing it solo. So when the tenor part arrived and no one sang opposite her, 24-year-old Liu Jianwei, a fan of Oropesa and a student of opera at the Conservatorio Giuseppe Nicolini di Piacenza, stood up and filled in the gap.No one expected it. Not Oropesa. Not even Liu himself, apparently. But the pianist kept playing and Oropesa appeared to be delighted as the young man beautifully filled in the tenor part. Oropesa's initial "Oh," is written into the piece (though you can see her searching the audience for where the man's voice was coming from), but the "Oh, grazie," she added herself to say thank you. It's a good thing he had a lovely voice. Watch: @babatunde_hiphopera Reply to @campmeldinal Reply to @campmeldinal This is the best one I could find #wholesome #opera According to Classic FM, Liu took to the Chinese microblogging platform Weibo to explain himself—and to warn others not to do what he did. “I stood up to sing because Lisette Oropesa is a musician I love very much and I happened to have learned this opera before,” he said. “It is definitely not something worthy of pride, nor something worthy of being advocated. Please don’t interrupt singers when they are singing on stage. It’s impolite behavior. Don’t imitate me and I will never do this again in the future.”Many disagree with him on the "worthy of pride" part at least, and most people commenting on the video were thrilled with both the unexpected singing and the reaction from the opera star."She was so gracious and kind!! The shock and delight on her face was so wonderful!! This is beautiful," wrote one commenter."I love how her face just lights up, it's so sweet!!!" wrote another."That is the reaction of when a musician does it for the love of music," added another "They are both amazing!"And regarding the "impolite" bit:"Look I know it would technically be considered rude but he shot his shot and was successful ?. Can’t blame him one bit.".Liu approached Oropesa after the concert to apologize. She took photos with him and gave him her autograph. Brava and bravo to them both.This article originally appeared three years ago.

Brace yourselves, folks, because this is almost too friggin' adorable to handle. A 911 call can be a scary thing, and an emergency call from a dad having chest pains and trouble breathing is no exception. But thankfully, an exchange between that dad's 5-year-old daughter and 911 dispatcher Jason Bonham turned out to be more humor than horror. If you missed hearing the recording that has repeatedly gone viral since 2010, you have to hear it now. It's perfectly timeless.When an Indiana dad used his cell phone to called 911 and couldn't talk, his daughter Savannah picked up the phone. Remaining remarkably calm, cool, and collected, the articulate 5-year-old expertly answered Bonham's questions—and added her own hilarious commentary as well.At Bonham's request, she made sure the front door was unlocked so the emergency crew could get in. She told him about their dog, Lou Lou, who was "small" and "barks a lot," but was "friendly." She consoled her dad—who may have been in the middle of a heart attack—with "Don't worry, Dad," and "Stay calm, Dad." She also kept the dispatcher up to speed on what was happening, repeatedly saying, "So far, so good."But the pièce de résistance was when Savannah told Bonham that she and her dad were in their "jammies" so she'd have to change. "I don't know what I'm gonna wear, but...he really needs oxygen, real fast." Five. Years. Old. This kid is seriously something else. Watch: Little girl calls 911 - Adorable - "He can't hardly breathe" youtu.be Bonham said he was surprised by how Savannah handled the call. "Most people when you talk to them, they're hysterical," he told Eyewitness News. "Every time I've listened to it it's amazing. She's just a little person."Thankfully, despite the scare, everything turned out fine for Savannah's dad. When the story went viral, her mom posted on Facebook, "We are so grateful & blessed that Savannah's 911 call is still being circulated. It makes the whole entire night worth while. The more awareness it brings & the more adults that teach children what to do the better!"Well done teaching that kiddo, mom and dad. She was truly amazing. This article originally appeared four years ago.

What can we learn from letting seventh graders take the SAT?In the 1960s, psychologist Julian Stanley realized that if you took the best-testing seventh graders from around the country and gave them standard college entry exams, those kids would score, on average, about as well as the typical college-bound high school senior. However, the seventh graders who scored as well or better than high schoolers, Stanley found, had off-the-charts aptitude in quantitative, logical, and spatial reasoning.In other words, they were gifted.In the 1970s, Stanley and his team launched a full-scale study, identifying many of America's gifted kids and tracking them throughout their lives.The study, called the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth never ended and is now nearly 45 years in the making. It has followed countless kids from middle school into their careers as some of America's top politicians, scientists, CEOs, engineers, and military leaders.Stanley passed away in the mid-2000s, but psychologist David Lubinski helped bring the study to Vanderbilt University in the 1990s, where he now co-directs it with Camilla P. Benhow.It's not a stretch to call this the biggest and most in-depth study on intellectual "precociousness." The results of the study thus far are equal parts fascinating and genuinely surprising — a deeply insightful look into the minds and lives of brilliant children.1. Some of what we used to think about gifted kids turned out to be wrong.Ever heard the saying "early to ripe, early to rot"? It basically means doing "too much" to foster a kid's special talents and abilities at too young an age could actually cause harm in the long term.That's not even remotely true, at least not according to Lubinski.That might be an outdated example. But Lubinksi says there are plenty of other misconceptions still alive today, like the idea that gifted kids are so smart that they'll "find a way" to excel even if those smarts aren't nurtured and developed.Not so fast. "They're kids," he explains. "They need guidance. We all need guidance."2. Intelligence is not the same as passion.Quick, what's the "smartest" career you can think of. Doctor? Scientist?While you do have to be pretty brilliant to work in medicine or science, those are far from the only career paths gifted kids choose later in life."Quantitatively, gifted people vary widely in their passions," Lubinski says. Many of the students in the study did end up pursuing medicine, but others went into fields like economics or engineering. Others still were more gifted in areas like logical or verbal reasoning, making them excellent lawyers and writers."There are all kinds of ways to express intellectual talent," Lubinski explains.When it comes to doing what's best for a gifted student, it's just as important for parents and educators to know what the student is passionate about rather than pigeonholing them in traditionally "smart" fields and registering them in a bunch of STEM courses.3. Hard work definitely still matters.Measuring a student's aptitude, their natural abilities, is only one part of the equation when it comes to determining how successful they'll be in life. Aptitude scores can identify a particularly strong natural skill set but tell us very little about how hard that person might work to excel in that field.Effort, Lubinski says, is a critical factor in determining how far someone's going to go in life. "If you look at exceptional performers in politics, science, music, and literature, they're working many, many hours," he says.(And for the record, there are a lot more important things in life than just career achievement, like family, friends, and overall happiness.)4. Regardless of aptitude, every kid deserves to be treated as though they were gifted.The study's focus is specifically on kids within a certain range of intellectual ability, but Lubinski is careful to note that many of its findings can and should be applied to all students.For example, the kids in the study who were given an opportunity to take more challenging courses that aligned with their skills and interests ultimately went on to accomplish more than the students who were not afforded the same opportunity."You have to find out where your child's development is, how fast they learn, what are their strengths and relative weaknesses and tailor the curriculum accordingly," Lubinski says. "It's what you would want for all kids."It may sound a bit like a pipe dream, but it's a great starting point for how we should be thinking about the future of education in America.If you'd like to learn more about the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth, check out this short film on the project created by Vanderbilt University:Quick Learners; High Achievers: Study of Mathematically Precocious YouthThis article originally appeared seven years ago.

He changed the track completely. The post What is the only Bruce Springsteen song not sung by Bruce Springsteen? first appeared on Far Out Magazine.

Not the most pleasant studio time. The post “It was a long project”: The record Tom Petty never wanted to make again first appeared on Far Out Magazine.

Subscribe for videos and live shows - https://www.youtube.com/wearechange Members content and live show call-ins - https://lukeunfiltered.com/ In this video we hypothesis the possible theory of what really happened with the Trump Tower Cyber Truck Alleged Attacker after the huge podcast episode with Shawn Ryan who sat down with Sam Shoemate just a few hours ago, which one of our 3 theories do you think is correct? let us know in the comment section below!

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