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Amazon Sold Clothing That Wishes Death on Donald Trump and His Whole Family

The wreck of a 19th sailing ship still loaded with its cargo of champagne, wine, mineral water and porcelain has been discovered in the Baltic off the Swedish island of Öland. The Baltictech diving group, a Polish association of divers dedicating to exploring shipwrecks in Baltic waters, The sonar images were unremarkable (the wreck looked like a fishing boat, at most), so much so that there was some doubt whether any of the divers would think it was worth exploring. Two divers agreed to give a quick once-over. They ended up being gone for two hours, so the crew realized it was definitely not a fishing boat. Instead, the wreck proved to be a merchant vessel in excellent condition, much of its original cargo still in place. There were so many bottles it was difficult to estimate total numbers. “The whole wreck is loaded to the brim with crates of champagne, mineral water and china,” Tomasz Stachura, the leader of the Baltictech diving group, told AFP. He said: “I have been diving for 40 years and it often happens that there is one bottle or two … to discover a wreck with so much cargo, it’s a first for me.” Divers counted more than 100 bottles of champagne and baskets full of the famous Selters mineral water in sealed stoneware bottles. The shape of the bottles and design of the stamp indicate the water was bottled between 1850 and 1867. The Baltictech group has notified the Swedish authorities about the shipwreck. They will not attempt recovery of any of the champagne or mineral water until they get the go-ahead from Sweden. “[The ship] had been lying there for 170 years so let it lie there for one more year, and we will have time to better prepare for the operation,” Stachura said.

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND— In an unprecedented press conference held at the World Institute of Theoretical Absurdities, leading scientists issued a dire warning: at the current rate of conspiracies turning into verified facts, we may run out of conspiracy theories by 2025. Dr. Harvey Lee, head of the Institute, painted a bleak picture for the future of conspiracy theorizing. “We’ve been tracking the conversion rate of conspiracy theories to factual events over the past decade, and it’s alarming. What used to be harmless speculations whispered in the dark corners of the internet are now becoming front-page news with alarming regularity.” This startling trend has been observed globally. From government surveillance and secret societies to pandemics and alien contact, once-laughable notions are now being taken seriously. “Remember when people thought the government was reading our emails? That was a fun conspiracy theory—until it wasn’t,” Dr. Lee noted somberly. Conspiracy theorist-turned-real-news pundit Alex Serios offered his take on the situation. “We used to have such a rich tapestry of wild ideas—lizard people, fake moon landings, chemtrails. Now, every time I come up with something, it gets verified within a few months. I don’t know what to do with myself!” The economic implications are also significant. The lucrative industry surrounding conspiracy theories—from YouTube channels to merchandise—faces an existential threat. “Our entire business model is based on keeping people guessing,” said Ned Da Tinfoil, CEO of ConspiraCo, a leading producer of conspiracy theory paraphernalia. “If everything keeps getting proven true, what’s left for us? We’re looking at diversification, maybe into satire or outright fiction. But even that’s risky given the current trends.” In response to this looming crisis, scientists are urging a more responsible approach to reality. “We need to slow down the pace of truths emerging from conspiracies,” Dr. Kook advised. “Let’s keep some of the mystery alive for future generations. Imagine a world where kids can’t grow up questioning if Elvis is still alive or if Bigfoot is real. It’s a dystopian nightmare.” Governments worldwide are considering intervention strategies. Some propose regulating the flow of information to ensure a steady supply of conspiracies remains in the realm of speculation. Others suggest creating new, intentionally absurd conspiracy theories to replenish the pool. In a joint statement, world leaders expressed their concerns. “The balance between fact and fiction is delicate,” the statement read. “We must strive to preserve the wonder and curiosity that conspiracy theories bring to our societies. It is essential for the cultural and intellectual growth of humanity.” As we inch closer to 2025, the future of conspiracy theories hangs in the balance. Dr. Kook and her team continue their research, hoping to find a solution before it’s too late. “We’re working tirelessly to ensure that the world remains a place where people can still argue about whether the Earth is flat or if birds are real. These are the debates that make life interesting,” she concluded with a wistful smile. Until then, conspiracy theorists are urged to hold onto their hats—and their ideas. The truth, as they say, might just be out there, but perhaps it’s time to leave a few mysteries unsolved. The post BREAKING: Scientists warn that Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate appeared first on Genesius Times.