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Make Room at Church for Special-Needs Families
My husband, Lee, stood next to the table at the county’s autism awareness walk and resource fair. Among the therapy providers, safety equipment salesmen, and lawyers advertising their services, the “Stewartstown Baptist Church Special-Needs Ministry” sign stood out.
More than 2,000 people walked by that day. Some stopped and asked why a church would even be at the walk. My husband’s answer: He was there to share the good news of God’s love and tell people that our church was a safe place for families and their children with disabilities.
The families Lee met at the fair that day represent one of the largest unchurched groups that exist in every community. A 2018 study shows that families like mine that have a child with autism are 84 percent less likely to attend church than a typical family. When you consider that 1 in 31 of the 8-year-old children in the United States has been diagnosed with autism, you realize the number of families missing from our churches is significant.
The number of families affected by disability is bigger than just those with a member with autism, though. Of the 79.6 million households in the United States in 2019, 25.7 percent included at least one family member with a disability. To make that number more personal, I reached out to an administrator in my suburban school district, and she said that around 1 in 4 students in our district has some sort of accommodation plan.
Many churches aren’t seeing this portion of the population represented. They’re an unreached people group in our midst.
Missing Banquet Guests
Families affected by disability are largely missing from children’s ministry classrooms, youth group activities, and outreach events like vacation Bible school. But in Luke 14, Jesus makes clear that they’re represented when he shares the parable of the great banquet.
Special-needs families are an unreached people group in our midst.
The guests that the master had invited sent back excuses for their absence. Jesus tells the story:
So the servant came back and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and said to his servant, “Go out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.” And the servant said, “Sir, what you ordered has been done, and still there is room.” (Luke 14:21–22)
Jesus uses this parable to teach his audience what God’s kingdom will look like. In Luke 14, he’s eating at the house of a ruler of the Pharisees (v. 1). Noticing how they chose places of honor at this dinner (v. 7), Jesus tells the parable of the wedding feast and the parable of the great banquet.
God’s kingdom as Jesus depicts it inverts the Pharisees’ expectations. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled,” Jesus declares (v. 11). And in a theological system that correlated wellness to God’s blessing, Jesus shows that heaven will include “the poor and crippled and blind and lame” (v. 21). Though we long for the kingdom, many of the same people are missing from our churches.
Practical Strategies
Reaching families affected by disability is challenging. Space is limited, volunteers are hard to come by, budgets are tight, and starting a new ministry feels intimidating because of all the unknowns. But realistic, practical strategies can help overcome these challenges.
I’ve worked with hundreds of churches that want to take steps toward accessibility but don’t know where to start. I include many more suggestions in my book, Accessible Church, but here are three simple ways to start.
Reaching families affected by disability is challenging. But realistic, practical strategies can help overcome these challenges.
First, most churches start by training additional helpers called buddies who provide extra help to kids who need it. Rather than immediately starting a specialized class, churches can begin by accommodating individual sensory or learning needs through personal support. As the ministry grows, churches may consider adding a class designed to meet the needs of a larger group.
Second, churches can serve their community with outreaches like respite events. A respite event provides childcare for those with disabilities (and often their siblings) in a safe environment with fun activities. Our church offers respite events four times a year, advertising through social media groups, the local school district, and local therapy providers.
Third, churches can empower the special-needs families already among them to see themselves as missionaries to other families like theirs. Such families are often familiar with diagnostic language. They’re present in the therapy or support centers with others in need, and they experience the same practical needs. Parents can be on mission when they’re in waiting rooms, at support groups, and any time they’re around other families like theirs. The gospel will spread when people can say, “Our church cares for all of us and understands our needs.”
One of the families who stopped at our booth visited our church in the following weeks. The mother told my husband, “We want to take the kids to church but were nervous. When you said your church had a disability ministry we were interested. But when you said you have a son with autism and that your church loves him, we knew it could be the church home for us.”
Most families affected by disability aren’t looking for a perfect ministry. They’re looking for a community that makes an effort to welcome their whole family. Their presence among us blesses our church and gives these families the opportunity to hear the gospel message.
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