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Hiccup and Toothless Fly Again in the Trailer for the Live-Action How to Train Your Dragon
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Hiccup and Toothless Fly Again in the Trailer for the Live-Action How to Train Your Dragon

News How to Train Your Dragon Hiccup and Toothless Fly Again in the Trailer for the Live-Action How to Train Your Dragon The dragons still aren’t live-action, though. By Molly Templeton | Published on February 12, 2025 Screenshot: Universal Pictures Comment 0 Share New Share Screenshot: Universal Pictures The first teaser for DreamWorks’ live-action remake of How to Train Your Dragon—based on the books by Cressida Cowell—was absolutely shameless, leaning entirely on the scene in which hapless Viking Hiccup (played here by Mason Thames) first meets the perfect, catlike, wonderful dragon Toothless. I don’t know how anyone watches that scene without tearing up. Maybe if you hate black cats? Maybe if you never saw the 2010 animated film, which like this one was about a boy who meets a dragon and winds up changing his entire dragon-hunting culture? The full trailer goes back to that well, but adds in more backstory, all of which will look astonishingly familiar to fans of the previous film. Calling a movie full of CGI dragons “live-action” is a bit of a stretch, but DreamWorks is clearly following the Disney formula here (if it works for CGI lion cubs, right?). Two things can be true: I got all teary watching Hiccup and Toothless meet again, and I watched the rest of this trailer wondering what, exactly, this movie can offer that did not already exist in the previous version. Writer-director Dean DeBlois clearly believes there’s enough to bring him back to the series; he also co-directed the 2010 film (with Chris Sanders) and its two sequels. At a press event quoted by The Hollywood Reporter, DeBlois said: “With the rushed production schedule and the limited resources that we had on that first movie for DreamWorks, there were things that we skipped past that we could have maybe done a little more justice to — some of the characters, some of the depth of relationships and the immersive action,” he said. “It’s a reimagining that holds quite faithful to the story and yet finds moments where we could enrich character relationships, give a bit of depth, give a little bit of mythology that might have been lacking in that original.” He went on to say that the new film elaborates on the character of Astrid, played here by Nico Parker, who “was a little underserved” in the animated film. In this version, DeBlois said, “she is a descendant of one of those prized dragon-fighting warriors that were collected by Vikings in different places. She hopes to be chief of this tribe one day. She’s got great ambition, and what’s nice about it is that it creates a conflict between she and Hiccup.” “Nice” is a weird word there; do we need more conflict in a film about two species trying to kill each other? But good for Astrid. How to Train Your Dragon also stars Gerard Butler (returning to his role from the animated film), Nick Frost, and Julian Dennison. It flies into theaters June 13th.[end-mark] The post Hiccup and Toothless Fly Again in the Trailer for the Live-Action <i>How to Train Your Dragon</i> appeared first on Reactor.
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Dune: The Enticing Weirdness of a Frustrating, Fascinating Failure 
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Dune: The Enticing Weirdness of a Frustrating, Fascinating Failure 

Column Science Fiction Film Club Dune: The Enticing Weirdness of a Frustrating, Fascinating Failure  David Lynch’s “Dune” could have been amazing, given room to breathe… By Kali Wallace | Published on February 12, 2025 Image: Universal Pictures Comment 0 Share New Share Image: Universal Pictures Dune (1984). Directed by David Lynch. Written by David Lynch, based on the novel by Frank Herbert. Starring Kyle MacLachlan, Francesca Annis, and Kenneth McMillan. Here’s the thing: My father read Frank Herbert’s Dune to me and my siblings as a bedtime story. He read several of his favorite books to us over the years, and Dune was one. Even now, every time we walk on sand dunes or beaches, we remind each other not to walk with a steady rhythm. Then, of course, we stomp with a steady rhythm right next to a sibling, to lure the worms to come eat them first. We still tell each other to stick our hands into open boxes under threat of the Gom Jabbar. In fact, we sometimes use “gom jabbar” the same way people use words like doohickey or thingamabob, as a catch-all for an object: “Pass me that thing there, no, not the screwdriver, the gom jabbar.” None of this makes me a Dune expert. Compared to the average readership of this site, I barely know anything about Dune. Sure, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know Dune, but I also haven’t read the novel since I was young enough to have it read to me. I never read any of the other books in Herbert’s series. I’ve never seen any adaptation except David Lynch’s, and prior to this month the last time I watched it was probably about thirty years ago. (Yes, Dad, I will watch Denis Villeneuve’s films at some point, stop pestering me about them. I might also reread the book some day.) My point is: If you want a write-up about this movie from somebody who knows the ins and outs of Herbert’s novel in great detail, there are many to choose from, including several on this very site. I am not that person. I am just somebody who has been rooting for the giant worms since childhood. I love the giant worms. So let’s talk about how the movie Dune (1984) came about. Frank Herbert’s novel Dune was published in 1965, and it has been widely read and beloved ever since. The first producer to acquire rights to adapt Dune into a film was Arthur P. Jacobs, the man behind The Planet of the Apes (1968) and the franchise it spawned. Jacobs bought the rights to the novel in 1971, and that’s where we begin our brief tour of “Directors Who Didn’t Make Dune (But Whose Versions of Dune I Would So Totally Watch If I Had the Chance).” First on that list is Sir David Lean, director of a few films you might have heard of: Great Expectations (1946), The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957), Lawrence of Arabia (1962), Doctor Zhivago (1965). Yes, Lean seems like an odd choice for a sci fi epic about people doing psychedelic drugs to travel through space. But you can appreciate what Jacobs envisioned, because if somebody can adapt Charles Dickens and Boris Pasternak, they can handle a complex story with a cast of thousands. Lean was, alas, not interested, so we’ll never know what his version of Dune might have looked like. Jacobs approached a few other directors, but he didn’t find anybody before his death in 1973. The film rights were then purchased from Jacobs’ production company by what every article amusingly refers to as a “French consortium.” That’s where Alejandro Jodorowsky comes into the story. His long, involved, ambitious, and ultimately doomed attempt to make the movie has been told in the award-winning documentary Jodorowsky’s Dune (2013). The film was eventually abandoned because it would have been much too long (10-14 hours of film were storyboarded) and much, much too expensive. The production’s imagination was, alas, bigger than its available resources. The Dune that Jodorowsky never made would have been fascinating and strange. I know we all want to visit a parallel universe where it came to fruition. Even without actually existing as a film it has managed to be impressively influential on sci fi cinema, although in a somewhat indirect way, as several people involved with the project would go to work on Ridley Scott’s Alien (1979)—including artist H.R. Giger and Alien screenwriter Dan O’Bannon. The owners of the film rights sold them on again, this time to Dino De Laurentiis, the producer behind a vast and eclectic assortment of movies ranging from Federico Fellini’s La Strada (1954) to Roger Vadim’s Barbarella (1968) to Sidney Lumet’s Serpico (1973). De Laurentiis first got Herbert to write the screenplay, but Herbert himself described his effort to compress the book into a film as a failure. That’s when De Laurentiis brought on the third and final of the “Directors Who Didn’t Make Dune (But Whose Versions of Dune I Would So Totally Watch If I Had the Chance).” Ridley Scott had just finished with Alien, and he spent several months working with yet another Dune screenplay, this one by author Rudy Wurlitzer. Scott soon came to the conclusion that the story would take two movies to tell, and that would require more time than he was willing to put into it. So we’ll never know what Ridley Scott’s Dune would have looked like, which is unfortunate, because I bet it would have been really cool. But I’m also glad he didn’t do it, because he went on to make Blade Runner (1982) instead, and we know how I feel about Blade Runner. You have probably noticed the pattern by now: Everybody who looked at Dune knew that it would take more than two hours to tell the story properly. There are very few universal truths when it comes to Hollywood and adaptation, but this is one of them. Everybody knew this story required more than a single movie. Directors knew it, screenwriters knew it, even the producers knew it, although they probably lied to the money people about it. Everybody knew it. At this point, it was 1981 and the nine-year film option was about to expire. (Shocked professional aside: Nine years? Good lord.) But letting go of a hugely popular sci fi property right smack in the middle of the “hugely popular sci fi movies are making bank” era was not the plan, so De Laurentiis negotiated a new agreement with Herbert. And at some point De Laurentiis’ daughter, producer Raffaella De Laurentiis, took over the project. With the money coming from Universal Studios, she was the one who brought David Lynch into the fold. Lynch was still a pretty new director, but his reputation was experiencing a meteoric rise at the time. After Eraserhead (1977) enjoyed its indie success as a midnight movie and arthouse darling, Lynch made The Elephant Man (1980), which is loosely based on the life of Joseph Merrick. The Elephant Man was a tremendous success both commercially and critically. It was nominated for a pile of awards, including several Academy Awards. (The film also led to an organized push in Hollywood to demand the Academy recognize the work of makeup artists, which led to the creation of the Academy Award for Best Makeup.) As Lynch’s star was rising, so too was Hollywood’s demand for big, flashy sci fi movies, thanks to the wild success of Star Wars (1977). Lynch was also offered a chance to direct Return of the Jedi (1983), because everybody and their brother was offered a chance to direct Return of the Jedi, but he declined. (Aside: I maintain that of all the directors who didn’t direct Return of the Jedi, Lynch was in fact not the strangest possibility. That honor belongs to David Cronenberg. Imagine a Cronenberg Return of the Jedi… Imagine Cronenberg Ewoks.) Lynch didn’t know Dune before Raffaella De Laurentiis approached him, but he read it, liked it, and set to work writing his own screenplay. At first he was working with his cowriters from The Elephant Man, Eric Bergren and Christopher De Vore, but they left the project after some time. Lynch wrote several drafts of the screenplay. He wanted to tell the story across two movies, just like everybody else who had tried to adapt it, but Universal disagreed. They wanted a standard two-hour movie. They wanted a big, flashy, popular space opera that would launch a new series or trilogy. To address the obvious question: I don’t know if any of the people in charge at Universal had read Dune. I may not know Dune that well, but even I know that you don’t look at Dune if you want another Star Wars. That’s not what they got. What they got is… well. The most frustrating thing about David Lynch’s Dune is that it could have been so fucking good. It’s not a good movie, but the elements are there. There are glimmers of beauty and possibility all over the place. It’s so easy to imagine what it might have been, but the film aggressively compresses a story that needs time to breathe. And, as Jill Krajewski wrote in Vulture last year, “It’s also a shame to watch Lynch’s special-effects budget run out in real time….” I think that’s even more disappointing than a film that has no potential. That’s not mere speculation about the time and budget problems; the production of the film was thoroughly documented and reported while it was happening. See, for example, a 1983 New York Times article on the production, or the on-set diary from journalist and filmmaker Paul M. Sammon that was published in Cinefantasique in 1984. The movie was filmed at Churubusco Studios in Mexico City, largely because Dino De Laurentiis thought it would save money. It’s unclear if the benefits outweighed the problems. From basic issues like not always having reliable electricity to more complex geopolitical issues like not being able to acquire certain equipment due to import embargos and weeks-long delivery delays—or even relying on crew members to bring supplies in their personal luggage when they arrived—one has to wonder if the choice caused more problems than it solved. In any case, the production was massive and constantly in need of more time and more money. In one interview, model unit supervisor Brian Smithies recalls arriving at the studio to find Raffaella De Laurentiis going through the script page by page and tearing out things she knew they wouldn’t have the money to film. And that wasn’t at the beginning of the production—that was several months in, after one effects crew had already left and others had been brought in to do a huge amount of work in a very short amount of time. I always watch the movies for this column before I do any reading or research. And when I sat down to watch Dune, not having seen the movie since I was a kid, at first I was thinking, “Why does everybody hate this? It’s not nearly as bad as they make it sound.” That feeling did not last. But the film really does begin with promise! The first third is quite good! Sure, the voiceovers are annoying and unnecessary, but that’s the kind of thing where you can practically hear the confused memos from studio execs forcing awkwardness onto the film. The cast is strong, with a few standouts, such as Kyle MacLachlan as Paul Atreides and Brad Dourif as Piter De Vries, and while the Baron Harkonnen character has some, uh, problems (to put it mildly), those problems aren’t with Kenneth McMillan’s performance. One aspect of Lynch’s Dune that remains impressive is the art and production design. For all of the film’s problems, the work overseen by production designer Anthony Masters (who also worked on 2001: A Space Odyssey) and art director Benjamín Fernández is incredible. Especially in the first half of the movie, the combination of wonderfully unique design, extensive use of miniatures and matte paintings, and the construction of elaborate sets do so much work in establishing this film’s different settings. The overall design is maximalist and baroque, and each setting has an immediately identifiable look and feel: the dark wooden rooms on Caladan contrasted with the garish gold around the emperor, or the nauseating industrialism of Giedi Prime versus the cramped underground warrens of Arrakeen. Even though it’s a scene that some reviews—both contemporary and retrospective—call out as a bit too much, I completely adore the scene where the Spacing Guild comes to call on Emperor Shaddam IV (José Ferrer). I love everything about it: the fuss and anxiety of the emperor and his court in that gilded hall, the unsettling demeanor of the Navigator’s attendants and the jarring language translation, the Navigator arriving in that tank that looks like a combination of an art deco train engine and a steampunk contraption, and the lumpy design of the Navigator themself and the constant focus on that spice-breathing sphincter-like mouth. I even love the small detail that there are attendants mopping the floor as the Navigator arrives and leaves. I know the scene exists to provide exposition—to explain the film’s entire plot, really—but it also serves to demonstrate just how weird the universe of Dune really is. Unfortunately, it also emphasizes just how poorly later scenes in the film hold up, particularly those that are supposed to show Paul and Jessica’s (played by Francesa Annis) time with the Fremen. We see and feel places where massive chunks of the story were cut out or abbreviated; Universal insisted on editing Lynch’s first rough cut of three to four hours down to two hours, which is why there are all those time skips and voiceovers. That’s a problem for any film, but it’s especially a problem for a film that is supposed to show a young man’s transformation from feudal heir to messianic cult leader. That’s the kind of story that needs to show its work, because the themes of politics and religion and rebellion and power are really very complicated. To clarify something that is sometimes misreported: Lynch had nothing to do with the longer television version that came out in 1988, nor with any of the other re-edits and versions that have come out since. When he did speak about Dune, which was rarely, he was openly bitter about how it had gone. He once said, “Don’t make a film if it can’t be the film you want to make. It’s a sick joke, and it’ll kill you.” Only after decades had passed did he express interest in a director’s cut but, tragically, it’s too late now. It’s not that I think all of Dune’s problems would have been solved with more time and more money. More time and more money would not have solved the problem of the almost childishly over-the-top Harkonnen characters. It wasn’t a lack of time or money that had them bringing Toto on to do the soundtrack—which is fine in some places, but laughable in others. And nothing can explain Sting and his winged codpiece. Why is Sting even there? Some things only make sense in the ’80s. In a larger sense, the adaptation was always going to be complicated by the fact that in Herbert’s novel, Paul Atreides is very much not a Hollywood-style heroic figure. That’s kinda the whole point of the story. And as we have previously discussed, Hollywood in the early 1980s was not terribly favorable toward sci fi films without heroic plotlines. There was always a fundamental disconnect between what the studio wanted and what Dune actually is, and that’s not something that would go away even with all the time and money in the world. Even so, I would have liked to see it. I wish we had a chance to watch the version of Dune that existed in David Lynch’s screenplay and imagination. I would love to see the full version of Dune that Lynch tried to make, flaws and all. There is enough that is weird and dark and wonderful in the movie to hint at what could have been. It wouldn’t have been perfect. Maybe it wouldn’t even have been good. But I bet it would have been glorious. What do you think about Dune? I didn’t even talk about the worms. I have no complaints about the worms. I think they’re cute and very large and they can chomp anything they want. I’m always cheering for the worms. Next week: It’s hard for me to articulate just how formative Twin Peaks was for me as an impressionable tween who suspected the world was so much more fucked up than adults were telling us. Watch Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me on Max, Criterion, Amazon, Apple, or Fandango.[end-mark] The post <i>Dune</i>: The Enticing Weirdness of a Frustrating, Fascinating Failure  appeared first on Reactor.
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Battles Are Coming From Within and Without in Wheel of Time Season 3 Trailer
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Battles Are Coming From Within and Without in Wheel of Time Season 3 Trailer

News The Wheel of Time Battles Are Coming From Within and Without in Wheel of Time Season 3 Trailer If the Tower doesn’t support Rand, they will lose this battle. By Vanessa Armstrong | Published on February 12, 2025 Credit: Prime Video Comment 0 Share New Share Credit: Prime Video Season three of The Wheel of Time is set to premiere in a month and to celebrate the occasion, Prime Video released a trailer today that tees up a lot of the conflict we’ll see in the upcoming episodes. One theme of the latest trailer is how there’s some internal strife, to put it mildly, going on with the Aes Sedai in the White Tower. We see explosions, Egwene (Madeline Madden) saying the tower is tearing itself apart from the inside out, and Moraine (Rosamund Pike) laying the stakes on the line: If the Tower doesn’t support Rand al’Thor (Josha Stradowski), he will lose the last battle, and no one wants that (unless, of course, you’re a Darkfriend). We’re also reminded that the Forsaken are after everyone (especially Rand, of course), and that Rand’s connecting with Lanfear (Natasha O’Keeffe) will have a big impact, not least of which is Rand’s relationship with Egwene. On top of that, we see Rand heading to the Aiel Waste, and Moiraine going through the rings, where (as we heard her say in previous trailers) she sees several futures, though none where both she and Rand survive. And if this intrigue wasn’t enough, we also got glimpses of a war on the horizon, promising us that season three of the series adaptation will have epic battles as well. The third season of The Wheel of Time premieres on Prime Video on March 13, 2025. Check out the latest trailer below.[end-mark] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk0D4OV95bQ The post Battles Are Coming From Within and Without in <i>Wheel of Time</i> Season 3 Trailer appeared first on Reactor.
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EXCLUSIVE: Sen. Banks Introduces Bill to Give Parents Greater Freedom in Child Care Choices
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EXCLUSIVE: Sen. Banks Introduces Bill to Give Parents Greater Freedom in Child Care Choices

FIRST ON THE DAILY SIGNAL—Sen. Jim Banks, R-Ind., introduced a bill to give parents more power over their child care decisions. The Respect Parents’ Childcare Choices Act reforms a federal child care funding grant to better align it with the needs of families, according to Banks. The Indiana Republican says he wants to let parents decide how their children are cared for and wants to ensure that the grant program’s vouchers support the full range of caregiving options. “The Biden administration’s burdensome overregulation increased the cost of child care and withheld funding from the child care arrangements many families prefer,” Banks told The Daily Signal in a statement. “Big government never works. The Respect Parents’ Childcare Choices Act puts families first and gives parents the freedom to choose what works best for them.” The Child Care and Development Block Grant comprises $18 billion in grants to provide federal funds to states, territories, and tribal groups to help low-income and working-class families afford child care. States use the funds to provide working parents with vouchers to pay for child care at approved providers. Banks’ bill allows vouchers to be used to pay relatives for child care. It would exempt relative caregivers and in-home child care providers from some of the grant program’s requirements and licensing standards. The bill also requires states to annually notify parents receiving child care vouchers that they can use those vouchers to pay for care by relatives. Married parents would also be allowed to use the vouchers directly if one parent stays at home and provides child care while the other is working, rather than being required to use the vouchers to pay for a third-party child care provider. The grant program currently disqualifies many single parents from assistance if they get married. The bill would reform the eligibility criteria to eliminate such marriage penalties. Banks says he also wants to protect religious child care providers by ensuring religious daycare centers won’t lose federal funding for living out their faith. Only 14% of eligible families actually receive subsidized child care under the grant system due to a lack of funding. To allow more families to receive assistance, this bill would increase the annual authorized funding for the block grant by $5.25 billion. The bill would also eliminate the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, a program with an annual tax expenditure of $5.3 billion, which Banks says ignores informal child care arrangements and primarily benefits upper-class families. The post EXCLUSIVE: Sen. Banks Introduces Bill to Give Parents Greater Freedom in Child Care Choices appeared first on The Daily Signal.
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Meltdown: CNN Host Calls Sununu (!) a 'D*ck' In DOGE Discussion With ...
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Meltdown: CNN Host Calls Sununu (!) a 'D*ck' In DOGE Discussion With ...

Meltdown: CNN Host Calls Sununu (!) a 'D*ck' In DOGE Discussion With ...
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Reintroduced Wolves Caused A "Trophic Cascade", Transforming Yellowstone's Ecosystems
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Reintroduced Wolves Caused A "Trophic Cascade", Transforming Yellowstone's Ecosystems

In their absence, elk populations severely damaged the ecosystem in the national park, but 20 years later, the return of wolves has had an incredible impact.
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3.5-Million-Year-Old Hominin's Sex Determined Using Ancient Peptides – The Oldest Yet
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3.5-Million-Year-Old Hominin's Sex Determined Using Ancient Peptides – The Oldest Yet

It’s believed to be the oldest such specimen to have been successfully analyzed in this way.
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“Exceptionally Well-Preserved" 66-Million-Year-Old Edmontosaurus Reveals Collagen In Dinosaur Bone
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“Exceptionally Well-Preserved" 66-Million-Year-Old Edmontosaurus Reveals Collagen In Dinosaur Bone

Finding it required a combination of techniques never tried before.
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Google Adds The "Gulf Of America" To Google Maps For Almost The Entire World
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Google Adds The "Gulf Of America" To Google Maps For Almost The Entire World

Here's what you'll see from now on.
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Kimmel Skit Tries To Portray Vance as a Freaky Sex-Confused Weirdo
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Kimmel Skit Tries To Portray Vance as a Freaky Sex-Confused Weirdo

Actor Haley Joel Osment reprised his role as Vice President JD Vance on Tuesday’s edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live! on ABC, where he joined the eponymous host for an interview where he could not decide whether he was a sex-confused weirdo or sexual freak. The “interview” came as the real Vance traveled to Paris for an AI summit with other world leaders, but Kimmel asked the fake Vance, “What is it that you are doing in France?” Osment replied, “I am in France to find that place where the naked ladies dance and shut it down.”     Kimmel then wondered, “Okay, and how's that going so far?” Pulling a handful of baguettes out of a bathtub, Osment lamented that “Lord Jesus hath not prepared me for the moral depravity over here. I have personally confiscated dozens of dildos from the bicycle baskets of these hairy-pated perverts. Look! They call them bag-wets.” Kimmel insisted, “No, they don’t. I think that's just a loaf of bread you're holding.” Osment then switched personas, from the uptight conservative to alluding to the myth that claims Vance once had sex with a couch, “Oh, well. You won't want to eat one after what I done with it.” Taking a break from the sex talk, Kimmel referenced new footage from President Donald Trump’s recent Super Bowl interview, “Oh, speaking of Daddy Donald, did you hear what Trump said about you being his successor?” After Osment claimed he hadn’t, Kimmel continued, “He said he doesn't see you as his successor.” A despondent Osment wailed, “No, he didn't… It's fine, I'm sure he's right. He's always right.” The skit then returned to the sex stuff, with Kimmel wondering, “Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Are you at least seeing the sights in Paris?” Osment claimed that, “I went to a museum known as The Lube,” to which Kimmel corrected him, “It's The Louvre. The Louvre.” Still alluding to the couch lie, Osment asked, “Whatever these Frenchies call it, I was rudely kicked out for ‘acting inappropriate.’ Why did they even call it French kissing if you can't sex lick the Mona Lisa?” Later, Osment dropped the allusions and asked "Have you ever heard of a chaise longue?" After Kimmel affirmed he had, Osment continued, "Well, I found one and tonight, I'm going to [bleep] It. Don't tell Usha." It wasn’t that long ago when Jimmy Kimmel insisted that he and his team rigorously fact-check his jokes before he goes on stage. As it turns out, that itself wasn’t completely accurate. Here is a transcript for the February 11 show: ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live! 2/11/2025 11:46 PM ET KIMMEL: Are you enjoying your time in Paris? HALEY JOEL OSMENT: [AS JD VANCE]: Heck, no, I am not. I ate what I thought was a booger yesterday, it turned out to be a snail, yuck. KIMMEL: What is it that you are doing in France? OSMENT: I am in France to find that place where the naked ladies dance and shut it down. KIMMEL: Okay, and how's that going so far? OSMENT: Lord Jesus hath not prepared me for the moral depravity over here. I have personally confiscated dozens of dildos from the bicycle baskets of these hairy-pated perverts. Look! KIMMEL: No, those are -- OSMENT: They call them bag-wets. KIMMEL: No, they don’t. I think that's just a loaf of bread you're holding. OSMENT: Oh, well. You won't want to eat one after what I done with it. KIMMEL: Okay, now -- are you meeting with people? Officials and -- no? OSMENT: No, sirree. This place is teeming with foreigners. And Daddy Donald says that is a no-no. KIMMEL: Oh, speaking of Daddy Donald, did you hear what Trump said about you being his successor? OSMENT: No. What'd he say? KIMMEL: He -- oh now, well -- you know, he said he doesn't see you as his successor.  OSMENT: No, he didn't. KIMMEL: He -- yeah, he did. He said it was too soon -- to know -- oh.  OSMENT: It's fine, I'm sure he's right. He's always right. KIMMEL: Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Are you at least seeing the sights in Paris? OSMENT: I went to a museum known as The Lube. KIMMEL: It's The Louvre. The Louvre. OSMENT: Whatever these Frenchies call it, I was rudely kicked out for “acting inappropriate.” Why did they even call it French kissing if you can't sex lick the Mona Lisa?  ... OSMENT: Have you ever heard of a chaise longue? KIMMEL: Yes, of course I have, yeah. OSMENT: Well, I found one and tonight, I'm going to [bleep] It. Don't tell! Usha.
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