Upvoted, an online publication from Reddit featuring the most compelling content from their site, republished this "classic" piece originally posted around 2011. The beautiful piece of writing was done by a commenter in response to a poster asking for advice on grief.The original post simply read: "My friend just died. I don't know what to do."Here was Redditor GSnow's moving advice:"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."Here's the original post:This article originally appeared on 9.21.21

Marvel's 2018 animated feature film, "Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse," was incredibly well-received by fans and critics alike, and its sequel, "Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse" is being touted as just as good if not better. The films follow a young teen, Miles Morales, as he discovers his superpowers and learns to wield them. But it has now been revealed that, behind the scenes of the new film, another young superhero was being discovered—a real kid with genuinely impressive 3D animation powers that even wowed some of the world's best animators. At just 14 years old, Preston Mutanga recreated the trailer for "Across the Spider-verse" using Legos and shared his creation on social media in January of 2023. He tagged the producers of the film and wrote, "I recreated the entire Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse trailer in LEGO!"Sounds downright adorable, right? Kid with his Lego hobby making little home movies? Yeah, watch this: His trailer caught the attention of Phil Lord and Chris Miller, producers of both "The Lego Movie" and "Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse." Both men were floored when they discovered it was created by a kid.“We found out that it was a 14-year-old kid who made it and we were like, ‘This looks incredibly sophisticated for a nonadult, nonprofessional to have made,'" Miller told The New York Times. “It blew us all away, including some of the best animators in the world.”Lord responded to the trailer with a compliment and a quip: "Well done!!! Where were you in 2014 oh wait you were 6." \u201c@FG_Artist @chrizmillr @terry12539 @LEGO_Group @SpiderVerse Well done!!! Where were you in 2014 oh wait you were 6\u201d — LegoMe_TheOG (@LegoMe_TheOG) 1672704542 Preston replied that he was "closely observing the movie" at that time, and clearly, he was. And he was learning a lot. In fact, his animating skills were so impressive the filmmakers invited him to help create a scene for the new "Spider-verse" movie—an homage to "The Lego Movie" that Lord and Miller wanted to include in the film. Preston's parents were naturally skeptical at first. This certainly wasn't what Preston's dad anticipated when he got him the 3D animation software, Blender, or when Preston used YouTube tutorials to teach himself animation techniques. And what parents would believe that two of the biggest names in the animated film world would enlist the help of their 14-year-old for a major film? But the offer was real. According to The Times, Preston got a new computer and high-end graphics software and worked on the scene from his home in Toronto. The filmmakers explained to Rotten Tomatoes that Preston animated the shots during his spring break and made revisions after he finished his homework. Undoubtedly, this experience taught him more than any school homework ever could about his passion. “One new thing I learned was definitely the feedback aspect of it, like how much stuff actually gets changed from the beginning to the final product,” Preston told The Times. "Getting to work with the people who actually made this masterpiece was honestly like a dream,” he added.Apparently, it was pretty dreamlike for the animation crew to work with him as well. Animation lead for "Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse" Chelsea Gordon-Ratzlaff shared on Twitter that they and the whole team were consistently "blown away" by Preston's shots. \u201c@FG_Artist you nailed it!! all of us on the anim crew were blown away by your shots whenever we saw them, great work \ud83d\udc4f\u201d — LegoMe_TheOG (@LegoMe_TheOG) 1686179289 Now that Preston's involvement in the movie is public knowledge, he's been getting his due praise from the filmmakers and others. \u201c@philiplord @chrizmillr @LEGO_Group @SpiderVerse thank you so much!!!\u201d — LegoMe_TheOG (@LegoMe_TheOG) 1684954268 \u201c@LEGO_Group\u201d — LegoMe_TheOG (@LegoMe_TheOG) 1684954268 How wonderful that this young person has not only worked hard on polishing his craft but had his talents recognized by some of the best in the business. Kudos to his parents for their encouragement and kudos to the filmmakers for giving a kid this huge opportunity and mentoring him through it. We can't wait to see where in the multiverse Preston Mutanga goes next. Here's a side-by-side of the original trailer and Preston's Lego remake so you can see how spot-on it was: \u201cDid you know 14-year-old animator, Preston Mutanga (@FG_Artist), known for this viral LEGO Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse trailer also animated the LEGO scenes in the film? \ud83d\udc4f\u201d — GameSpot (@GameSpot) 1686004748 This article originally appeared on 6.12.23

In HBO’s “The Last of Us,” actress Melanie Lynskey plays Kathleen—a tough, formidable villain and ruthless leader of a rebel alliance, not to mention apocalypse survivor. Do these attributes require any particular sort of body type? Common sense screams no. And yet, outdated views dictate that the answer must be yes. Case in point: former "America's Top Model'' winner Adrianne Curry recently criticized the legitimacy of Lynskey for the role solely because of her naturally soft body frame, implying that only someone toned and athletic could pull it off. Referencing a photo of Lynskey in a dress for InStyle Magazine, Curry tweeted, "her body says life of luxury...not post apocolyptic [sic] warlord. where is linda hamilton when you need her?" Lynskey, who is no stranger to standing up to body critics, had some choice words to say in response. "Firstly- this is a photo from my cover shoot for InStyle magazine, not a still from HBO’s The Last Of Us," Lynskey wrote. "And I’m playing a person who meticulously planned & executed an overthrow of FEDRA. I am supposed to be SMART, ma’am. I don’t need to be muscly. That’s what henchmen are for."Firstly- this is a photo from my cover shoot for InStyle magazine, not a still from HBO’s The Last Of Us. And I’m playing a person who meticulously planned & executed an overthrow of FEDRA. I am supposed to be SMART, ma’am. I don’t need to be muscly. That’s what henchmen are for pic.twitter.com/YwkmkwUdOm— Melanie Lynskey (@melanielynskey) February 8, 2023 It’s a plague that’s been on the strong female lead since breaking away from the role of victim or the wife—this notion that she has to possess qualities we typically find exemplary in men, be it with a hardened gym body, untouchable toughness, or a solid, singular focus. And this bias in fiction spills over into the real world. As Lynksey noted in a follow-up post, “Women, and especially women in leadership positions, are scrutinized incessantly. Her voice is too shrill. Her voice is too quiet. She pays too much attention to how she looks. She doesn’t pay enough attention to how she looks. She’s too angry. She’s not angry enough.'"But Lynskey wants to dismantle all that. The actress wrote that she felt it was important to portray Kathleen as “feminine, and soft-voiced, and all the things that we’ve been told are ‘weak,’” adding that what made her casting “exciting” was that it imagined “a future in which people start listening to the person with the best ideas. Not the coolest or the toughest person…The person who is doing the planning…The one who’s decisive.” Other than getting to work with creative geniuses who I respect and admire (Neil & Craig) the thing that excited me most about doing #TheLastOfUs is that my casting suggested the possibility of a future in which people start listening to the person with the best ideas— Melanie Lynskey (@melanielynskey) February 8, 2023 From being constantly reminded since the age of 17 to be “thin, confident and pretty” to having a crew member suggest a personal trainer for her acclaimed role on “Yellowjackets,” Lynskey has constantly had to address unsolicited comments about her shape. And while that is exhausting to think about, she feels that, other than the acting itself, “the most exciting part of my job is subverting expectations.”Goes to show that Lynskey knows exactly how to be tough, whether fending off zombies or out-of-touch comments on social media. This article originally appeared on 2.10.23

Back in 2022, for the first time in six years, the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner (WHCD) was held with the president of the United States in attendance on April 30 in Washington, D.C. The WHCD has been a tradition in Washington for more than a century and for the past several decades it has taken the form of a comedic roast of both the government and the press. 2022's dinner was hosted by comedian and former host of "The Daily Show" Trevor Noah, who's known for his smart, witty commentary on social and political issues.The "let's invite a comedian to publicly and viciously make fun of us for a couple of hours" idea may be a bit odd, but these events have proven quite popular over the years, with many viral moments (including President Obama's infamous GIF-worthy mic drop) coming from them. The dinner opened with Noah joking about it being a superspreader event, earning some uncomfortable laughter, then the individual roasts commenced. Noah didn't hold back slamming people across the political and media spectrum—all in good fun, of course—including President Biden himself. But it was Noah's closing remarks that earned the most attention. In his signature style, Noah managed to bring a serious and thoughtful element to a night of ribbing and laughter when he admonished the press to recognize both their freedom and their responsibility. “If you ever begin to doubt your responsibilities, if you ever begin to doubt how meaningful it is, look no further than what’s happening in Ukraine," Noah said. "Look at what’s happening there. Journalists are risking and even losing their lives to show the world what is happening. You realize how amazing that is?“In America, you have the right to seek the truth and speak the truth, even if it makes people in power uncomfortable. Even if it makes your viewers or readers uncomfortable. You understand how amazing that is?" he reiterated.Noah pointed out that he had just stood there and made fun of the president of the United States and he was going to be fine. Then he contrasted that with the reality Russian journalists are living under Putin. “Ask yourself this question," he said to the members of the media. "If Russian journalists who are losing their livelihoods … and their freedom for daring to report on what their own government is doing—If they had the freedom to write any words, to show any stories, or to ask any questions—if they had, basically, what you have—would they be using it in the same way that you do?"Ask yourself that question every day," he said, "because you have one of the most important roles in the world."Watch: I\u2019ve always respected @Trevornoah so much but this closing speech from the White House correspondents\u2019 dinner is particularly spectacular.pic.twitter.com/k8GmBOAoYB — Mike Birbiglia (@Mike Birbiglia) 1651380675 People had high praise for Noah's entire evening of hosting, but especially for his closing remarks. Russia's war on Ukraine has put a spotlight on many things we tend to take for granted, including the freedom of the press. Journalists do play a vital role in society and it's one they must take seriously. To be fair, most journalists do feel the weight of their responsibility, but the corporatization of news media and a 24/7 news cycle has created a competitive landscape in which coverage is sometimes determined by what will drive traffic or viewers rather than on what's truly newsworthy or important. The demonization of news outlets by some has also created a hostile media environment, and news organizations have to resist the urge to kowtow to the loudest voices or inadvertently amplify the wrong things. Journalists often have to fight for the truth on multiple fronts, sometimes inside their own newsrooms. Thank you, Trevor Noah, for reminding reporters that the fight is worth it and for using this opportunity to remind the press of its primary purpose with such a simple yet profound question. Trevor Noah with an amazingly powerful close reminding journalists in the United States, some of whom seem to take for granted what they have, of how lucky they are to have the freedom to speak truth to power.pic.twitter.com/oIcdPyO2bD — Sarah Reese Jones (@Sarah Reese Jones) 1651376844 I found myself cheering @Trevornoah's closing as though he could hear me. I felt foolish, but his words are that important. Sometimes speaking truth to power is telling people why it's their responsibility to speak truth to power. Thank you, Mr. Noah!https://twitter.com/cspan/status/1520598522000719874\u00a0\u2026 — Benjamin Gorman \ud83c\udf4e (@Benjamin Gorman \ud83c\udf4e) 1651445670 If you didn't actually listen to @Trevornoah's closing speech -- please do. He speaks not only to journalists, but to all of us.https://twitter.com/birbigs/status/1520626883616030720\u00a0\u2026 — \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 Ian Ricksecker \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udf0d (@\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 Ian Ricksecker \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\uddea\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udf0d) 1651466123

Actor Richard Dreyfuss (star of “Jaws” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”) shared intimate photos of the birth of his son Ben that showed the shock and confusion parents experience when realizing their newborn has a birth abnormality.On June 14, 1986, Dreyfuss and his wife Jeramie Rain had their second child and they could tell something was wrong shortly after his delivery. “Your eyes are not the same,” Ben would later write about his birth. “One is blue, the other is grey. One is hiding under a partially opened eye-lid; the other is extending far beyond it, like a potato exploding out of an egg cup.”It was the “most traumatic and emotional moment of my life,” Richard wrote on Twitter. “My wife Jeramie gave birth to our second amazing child. And, as these pictures show, we slowly realized there was a problem with our son.” \u201cThe most traumatic and emotional moment of my life was on June 14 1986. My wife Jeramie gave birth to our second amazing child. And, as these pictures show, we slowly realized there was a problem with our son.\u201d — Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178 \u201cI held him and promised him that I would do everything I could take save him. That I would love him no matter what.\u201d — Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178 \u201cHe was the first person born in California with peters anomaly. We spent months in hospitals with him and years raising money for charities Jeramie led for less fortunate kids than Ben.\u201d — Richard Dreyfuss (@Richard Dreyfuss) 1658372178 I am incredibly proud of all my children. https://t.co/Z2Vf1bafVw— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) July 21, 2022 The actor’s photos are touching because they show the parents experiencing the incredible beauty of the birth while struggling to make sense of the unexpected.“I held him and promised him that I would do everything I could [to] save him. That I would love him no matter what,” the “Mr. Holland’s Opus” star wrote.Ben would later be diagnosed with Peters anomaly, a rare genetic condition that causes a clouding of the cornea and eye-structure abnormalities. Over the first year of Ben’s life, he would have multiple eye operations and would eventually lose all sight in his left eye.He explained what life’s like with one eye in a blog post his father shared at the end of his tweet thread. It’s a raw open letter to himself that details how his struggles with being different evolved as he developed.It’s a revealing glimpse into the interior monologue of someone who knows he’s being stared at but everyone is too polite to bring it up. See on Instagram “Eventually you come around to the idea that much more noticeable than the eye itself is your reaction to it,” he writes. “You couldn’t make eye contact with anyone for decades. Upon this realization, you decided to make piercing eye contact with everyone.”Ben is a journalist who was in charge of audience development at Mother Jones for eight years. He has a popular Substack blog called “Good Faith” where he discusses the intersection of politics and social media from the unique perspective of a liberal with no problem pointing out progressive excesses.Richard Dreyfuss’ photos of his son’s birth show that all the fame and acclaim in the world can be quickly dispatched when we see that there is something wrong with a child. But on a deeper level, they are an intimate look at the faces of parents whose lives have been upended in a moment they expected would be wholly joyous.It’s a moment that many parents have unfortunately had to weather and hopefully, the photos will give them comfort knowing that the despair will soon be overcome by love.This article originally appeared on 7.21.22

If you know any teachers, you probably know how utterly exhausted they all are, from preschools all the way up through college. Pandemic schooling has been rough, to say the least, and teachers have borne the brunt of the impact it's had on students. Most teachers I've known have bent over backwards to help students succeed during this time, taking kids' mental and emotional health into consideration and extending the flexibility and grace we all could use. But teachers have their own mental and emotional needs, too, and at some point, something's gotta give.A college student posted screenshots of a professor's message on Twitter with the comment "someone PLEASE check on my professor." It's simply incredible.The message reads:"There is no class tomorrow. I've got some things to take care of regarding this and my other class, and my full time job. I have received countless emails about zeroes on assignments either through errors I've made, you've made, or simply people not realizing or knowing they were supposed to turn it in and then realizing in panic they received a zero on it for (surprise), not turning it in. It seems that giving you a free assignment so long as you turn SOMETHING in created far more chaos than good will. Apologies. That's on me. And you. But also me. But also you."Then it went on…someone PLEASE check on my professor pic.twitter.com/xbys2Nh66q— hailey (@hailzfitz444) November 16, 2021 The professor gave a bulleted list of instructions for what clearly sounds like a very simple, easy assignment designed to give students an opportunity to boost their grades. "- Submit it. I've extended the deadline until tomorrow before Midnight.- If you do NOT turn it in before then. I'm sorry. It's a zero. No excuses at this point and frankly, I regret ever trying to make this assignment easier because it's created more problems at this point. - I will look at these, do not do something stupid like type 'b' or 'i did it'. I will become enraged and bitch about you for exactly 15 seconds to anyone within my proximity who will listen. I will not hold back. - After I receive these, I will give you full credit (pending the above prerequisites). I will then promptly print 100 copies of the assignment out, put them in a pile, light that pile on fire, and dance around the rubble as it burns. I will then put my hand on the smoldering embers so that I may feel again. Feel what, you might ask? Anything. Literally anything.- I will then sleep like a baby, having put this nightmare behind me."Absolutely classic.The professor saw the tweet his students shared after it went viral and chimed in with a response. In case it’s not clear I am said professor and that was my email. In case you are wondering. I am doing very well and good.— scobeard (@scobeard) November 17, 2021 And he added an update on how things were going on the assignment front.pic.twitter.com/EVRDyUgTjf— scobeard (@scobeard) November 18, 2021 Other teachers responded to his woes, commiserating over students being handed a chance to improve their scores and simply … not doing it.I literally gave out assignments so they could rack up easy points on their averages and people just didn’t do them??? JUST TELL ME YOUR INTERESTS— Ashley Holub, PhD (@ashtroid22) November 17, 2021 It's been a challenge during the pandemic to figure out how much to expect of any of us, hasn't it? Some leeway is definitely warranted, but are we enabling bad habits when we give too much? There are no right answers to that question. We're all winging it, trying to navigate uncharted waters and having to constantly readjust as things change. It's exhausting. We're all exhausted. But teachers are at a level of "done" that few of us can fathom. Healthcare workers can fathom it. Anyone working with the public the past two years might get close. But until you've actually taught, you don't know. Teaching is hard under normal circumstances. Pandemic teaching is a whole other ballgame. We feel you, teachers. Hang in there, and enjoy this bit that will undoubtedly feel familiar:This article originally appeared on 11.22.21

One of the most humane trends in the past 30 years of American life has been the decline in greyhound racing. After hitting its peak in 1985, state laws have led to the closure of racetracks across the country.By the end of 2022, there will only be two active greyhound tracks in the United States, both in West Virginia.The change in attitudes toward dog racing has meant an increase in greyhounds being rescued and living second lives as family pets. Greyhounds are great around children, have happy dispositions and, even though they're fast on the track, they don't require a lot of exercise.This has led them to have the nickname the "45 mile-per-hour couch potato."Occupational therapist Taylor Huerta adopted a greyhound named Millie in 2018 and the pair has become quite the hit on social media. Huerta has a bachelor's degree in psychology and a doctoral degree in occupational therapy.So it wasn't long before Millie became one of her subjects of study."Psychology is a major aspect of my career and has always been a fascination of mine," she told Bored Panda.After adopting Millie, Huerta realized that her dog was anxious so she put on her therapist's hat and began learning all she could about dog psychology."From separation anxiety to social anxiety, I got a first-hand glimpse into the psychology of a dog. It became my passion to educate myself on [the subject], and through many hours of research, I gained a better understanding of Millie," Huerta explained.She began posting videos on social media to help bridge the gap between humans and their fur babies. Heurta calls Millie a "noodle horse" because of her equine-looking features and spindly limbs that contort themselves into impossible shapes.The result is a series of super-cute videos featuring Millie that are so popular, the MillieTheNoodleHorse TikTok page has more than 1.2 million followers. Here's a selection of some of the cutest and most informative videos that'll teach you a bit more about your four-legged friend.When dogs lean on you, it's a hug. @milliethenoodlehorse ? #dog #dogs #dogsofttiktok #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #cute #forupage If your dog has quick bursts of energy, it's a good thing. @milliethenoodlehorse ?✨ #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #dog #dogsoftiktok #Hyperfixated #NewYearNewMiO #WhatILearned A crotch sniff is a health check-up. @milliethenoodlehorse ? #fy #fyp #foryoupage #dog #dogsofttiktok #adopted #mybaby Why do dogs tilt their head while looking at people? @milliethenoodlehorse ? #dog #dogs #dogsofttiktok #fyp #foryoupage #foryourpage #viral #trend Why do dogs get so excited when their owners come home? @milliethenoodlehorse ? #dog #dogs #dogsofttiktok #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #foryourpage When a dog sleeps with your clothing, it's a beautiful thing. @milliethenoodlehorse ? #dog #dogsofttiktok #fyp #foryou When a dog licks your cut, they're playing doctor. @milliethenoodlehorse Dr. Doggo. #fy #fyp #forupage #dog #dogsofttiktok #adopted #foryoupage Huerta and Millie are doing an incredible job of making dog psychology fun and informative. Their TikTok page is a great way to help spread awareness about our incredibly adorable, yet complex, four-legged friends. The better we understand one another the more wonderful and fulfilling our relationships will be. This article originally appeared on 11.12.21

Racist jokes are one of the more frustrating manifestations of racism. Jokes in general are meant to be a shared experience, a connection over a mutual sense of humor, a rush of feel-good chemicals that bond us to those around us through laughter.So when you mix jokes with racism, the result is that racism becomes something light and fun, as opposed to the horrendous bane that it really is.The harm done with racist humor isn't just the emotional hurt they can cause. When a group of white people shares jokes at the expense of a marginalized or oppressed racial group, the power of white supremacy is actually reinforced—not only because of the "punching down" nature of such humor, but because of the group dynamics that work in favor of maintaining the status quo.British author and motivational speaker Paul Scanlon shared a story about interrupting a racist joke at a table of white people at an event in the U.S, and the lessons he drew from it illustrate this idea beautifully. Watch: Speaking up in a group setting where people have an unspoken sense of solidarity is difficult. Giving up social capital and being seen as a breaking a code of sorts is uncomfortable. But that that difficulty and discomfort are not excuses for staying quiet. As Scanlon points out, our silence is not benign, it's malignant. Keeping quiet while a racist joke is being told and laughed at is harmful because it allows racism to go unchecked and white supremacy to remain secure. An important point Scanlon makes is that not only do white folks allow harm to take place when we remain silent in the face of a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance making a racist joke, but we are actually rewarded for saying nothing. We maintain a sense of solidarity, we gain social capital, we're seeing as agreeable and establish a sense of belonging. Those rewards are an insidious form of racism that many white people aren't even aware we participate in. And we have to decide ahead of time that we're going to give up that reward and embrace the inevitable awkwardness in order to do the right thing. We have to decide that ending racism is more important than embarrassment. The more people who stand firm in that decision, the less awkward it will become and the sooner we can redefine what social capital and solidarity really mean.This article originally appeared on 6.30.20

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care. Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not. Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books. Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one. Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense."They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum." And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom. Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids: - YouTube www.youtube.com This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

'Love is a battlefield' indeed. They say you have to kiss ~~at least~~ a few frogs to find your prince and it's inevitable that in seeking long-term romantic satisfaction, slip ups will happen. Whether it's a lack of compatibility, unfortunate circumstances, or straight up bad taste in the desired sex, your first shot at monogamous bliss might not succeed. And that's okay! Those experiences enrich our lives and strengthen our resolve to find love. That's what I tell myself when trying to rationalize my three-month stint with the bassist of a terrible noise rock band. One woman's viral tweet about a tacky mug wall encouraged people to share stories about second loves. Okay, first things first: Ana Stanowick's mom has a new boyfriend who's basically perfect. All the evidence you need is in the photograph: — (@) People were impressed by the boyfriend's embrace of her hobby, which is collecting some of the funkiest mugs this side of the Mississippi. Unfortunately, not all male partners are so supportive. Some of those 'male partners' include our literal dads. Luckily, the stories shared had happy endings. Love is possible! — (@) — (@) The mug collection itself is iconic, tbh.Bystanders were also curious about the stuffed frogs pictured. A mom who has TWO off-kilter collections? We stan. — (@) — (@) — (@) This article originally appeared 6.15.19 and was published on SomeeCards. You can read it here.