A few generations ago, parents had pretty clearly defined roles, with the dad generally being the breadwinner and the mom being the homemaker/stay-at-home mother. Then women's rights movement came along, empowering women in the workplace, ushering in the era of two working parents and producing an entire generation of "latchkey kids."Now those Gen X latchkey kids are parenting Gen Z, with the pendulum of working motherhood having swung somewhat to the middle. We were raised to believe we could be anything we dreamed of being and that we didn't have to choose between being a mom and having a career. Gen X also became mothers during the heyday of parenting self-help books that impressed upon us the importance of attachment and hands-on childrearing, as well as the era of super-scheduled kids, whose activities alone require a full-time manager.As a result, those of us in our 40s have raised our kids straddling two worlds—the one where women can have all of the career success we desire and the one where we can choose to be stay-at-home moms who do all the things. At first, we were told we could have it all, but when the impossibility of that became clear, we were told, "Well, you can have it all, just not at the same time." But as many moms are finding as their kids start leaving the nest, even that isn't the full truth. A Facebook post by Karen Johnson, aka The 21st Century SAHM (short for "stay-at-home mom") nails the reality many stay-at-home moms in their 40s are facing as they find themselves floundering with the glaring gap in their resumes."This is for all the moms in their 40s who put their careers on hold to do the SAHM thing because you knew you couldn't do both—career you loved and motherhood—and do both WELL, so you picked, saying to yourself 'this is just for now and we'll see,'" Johnson wrote. "But now it's 15 years later and so much has changed in your career field that you know you can't go back. So really, when you 'took a break' all those years ago, you gave it up."Johnson explained that yes, moms know they should be grateful for the time they've had with their kids. Most are. That's not the issue. Whether a woman chose to be a stay-at-home mom because she really wanted to or because childcare costs didn't work in the financial equation of the family, the transition out of it feels like completely uncharted waters."Okay, so you're looking for a 'career' with part-time hours and a 100% flexible schedule because you're still Mom-on-duty but you do have *just* enough hours during the day to reflect on the fact that you *do* have a college degree (maybe even 2) and although being a mom is the greatest and most important job in the world, you *might* actually want something more to your life than folding laundry and running hangry children to 900 events and remembering that they're all due for dental cleanings," she wrote. Yup. The "default parent" role is real and weighted heavily toward moms as it is. For stay-at-home moms, it's 100% expected, and that doesn't suddenly end when it's time to start thinking about joining the workforce again. And, of course, moms barely have time to try to figure all of this out. So, as Johnson says, "But for now, you cram yourself into the only pair of jeans you have right now that fit and find a t-shirt on the floor that isn't clean but isn't dirty and will pass for the 4 hours of mom-taxiing you're about to do and you tell yourself, 'I'll figure it out another day. Right now, I gotta get the kids to practice.'" Oof.Johnson's entire post is worth a read, as it resonates with so many women at this stage of life. But just as telling are the comments from women who not only see themselves in Johnson's description but who feel like they were sold a bill of goods early in their motherhood. So many of us were led to believe that the skills and experiences of managing a family would be valued in the workplace simply because they should be and that the gap in their resume wouldn't matter. "This hits hard. I am right there too. And all those volunteer hours & leadership positions people said would look good on my resume when I once again applied for jobs? Those people all lied. It means squat," wrote one person. "Thank you! You spoke my heart. 42 this year, resigned from teaching almost 12 years ago, and never been more confused about my personal future, or exhausted in my present," shared another."I’ve never related to a post more in my life! THANK YOU. Your words perfectly summarize the loneliest, most important job in the world and how that perspective shifts in your 40s. It is confusingly beautiful," wrote another.Some moms have chosen to see their post-stay-at-home era as a fresh start to learn something new, which might lend some inspiration to others.There is hope in the comments, too. "I went back for my master’s degree at 47 years old. I’m now 50 in a new career I love and my husband is doing just fine pulling his weight with after school/carpool/dinner. Happy for the years I stayed home, happy with this new season too," shared one person."Yuuuup. I decided to go back to grad school at 45. It’s insane but every term I complete I’m like - omg I’m doing it! So don’t let sweaty out of shape bodies and carpool fatigue stop you. I take naps and write grad school papers and have meltdowns where I cry from the frustration of it all - but dammit I’m doing it!" wrote another.One mom who is past this stage also offered some words of encouragement:"So incredibly well written. I feel all these things and did throughout my 40s. Now I'm in my early '50s and I'm so glad I was able to stay home with my kids, but the guilt! The guilt of not using my education, the judgment of people who don't understand why someone would stay home with their kids, the social engineering... We just eat each other alive sometimes don't we? I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is a very lonely road and one you always question. I can tell you that all three of my kids were so grateful to have a full-time parent. I might not have always been the best, but they were glad to always have someone to talk to if they needed it. It's hard to fill other people's buckets when your bucket isn't full, but the rewards do come back when the kids tell you thank you for everything that you've done. " Being a mom is hard, period. Working moms have it hard, stay-at-home moms have it hard, moms who have managed to keep one foot in the career door and one foot in the home have it hard. There's a lot that society could do to support moms more no matter what path they choose (or find themselves on—it's not always a conscious choice), from providing paid maternity leave to greater flexibility with work schedules to retirement plans that account for time away from the workplace. Perhaps that would at least make the many choices moms have today feel more like freedom and less like choosing between a rock and a hard place. This article originally appeared on 9.27.23

Working in the corporate world can be a bit of a drag when it comes to office politics and gossip all while you're trying to climb the corporate ladder. Sometimes sending a professional clapback email just doesn't have the same level of satisfaction as getting revenge for whatever infraction drove you to the brink of quitting on the spot.But let's be realistic, in this economy even if you wanted to walk out it's not financially feasible so getting revenge isn't a wise option for the same reason walking out isn't. That's where a Los Angeles based lawyer who goes by the username whattheish comes in. She shares revenge ideas that won't get you arrested...probably. After some feedback from people in the corporate world hoping for a little less obvious revenge, she delivers a few options that seem hilariously genius–if that's your thing. If it's not your thing, rest assured that these ideas are more like silly pranks than actual revenge and while she advises against trying it, you may still find it fun to imagine. The lawyer starts off with a legal disclaimer, "Before we get started I have to say that this is not legal advice and I strongly recommend against you doing any of the things I'm about to tell you."She shares that these are ideas for those "corporate Barbies" that don't want to get into trouble in the office making the entire thing kind of like stealth revenge. people sitting on chair Photo by Redd F on Unsplash "And because Mama Ish loves you and I am always in your corner, I've cooked up an alternative revenge idea. This one short, sweet, simple, to the point, which we love," the woman says before listing a website where people can purchase never ending greeting cards for all occasions. The greeting card in question quietly makes inappropriate noises then slowly gets louder lasting for several hours without anyway to turn it off except to rip it up. But when they rip the card open glitter spills everywhere. In another video for "legal" revenge ideas, the woman shares a strategy that won't embarrass your coworkers or whoever is on the receiving end, but it will annoy them. April Fools Prank GIF by America's Funniest Home Videos Giphy "That's right we're talking health insurance quotes and car insurance quotes. I love this idea because all you need is your victims name and phone number so you can use this for a remote coworker, an ex, soon to be ex, mother-in-law, father-in-law, any relative, old boss. If you have their name and phone number you're good to go," she says before listing various insurance companies but carefully pointing out not to do this to Healthcare.gov because it might be fraud against the federal government.The woman says the insurance companies will continuously call the person for weeks on end multiple times a day trying to convince you to use their insurance company. Admittedly, the lawyer has fallen victim to this herself and is still getting phone calls. @whattheish Revenge Ideas From A Lawyer That Won’t Get You Arrested… Probably #revenge #petty #thisisnotlegaladvice #justjokesfolks #breakups #breakupadvice #breakuptiktok #dating #datingadvice #relationships #relationshiptiktok #probably If neither of those ideas suit your flavor of reasonably harmless revenge, no worries, the lawyer has an entire video series dedicated to legal-ish revenge ideas. In another post she starts by speaking directly to those that are specifically looking for more corporate safe anonymous revenge."Do you hate your boss? Do you hate your coworkers? Do you wish you could drive them insane every moment of the day, every day until they lose their minds? Then boy do I have an idea for you. It is simple. It is sweet. It is to the point and best of all it requires minimal effort from you. We're talking the annoy-a-tron," she reveals. @whattheish Revenge Ideas From A Lawyer That Won’t Get You Arrested… Probably #revenge #petty #thisisnotlegaladvice #justjokesfolks #corporate #corporatelife #corporatetiktok #amazonfinds #datingadvice The annoy-a-tron is a small device you can purchase online and tape in a space where it's undetectable. But what does this little gadget do? It annoys the people within earshot who cannot find the location of whatever sound preset to go off. The device makes noises from a chirp to a scream which can be set to go off at different intervals. Someone tried this prank saying, "I did this to my manager after he encouraged pranks when we returned to the office. Which I hated. I put it up inside his cubicle walls & it took them 3 days to find it after dismantling the cubical."Some people include their own stories of pranks like one person that shares, "so someone use to leave an egg on our bosses desk every day for a year. Then stopped. Our boss ripped his office apart screaming "where is the egg." Scared April Fools GIF Giphy Another person writes, "My absolute favorite one I've ever heard is signing prenup papers with disappearing ink."Someone else got even more creative than a never ending greeting card, "I got revenge on my ex by sending him a single slice of Kraft cheese every day for two months in an unmarked envelope every day, without a note or return address. it sounds silly but it's the kind of stuff they can't stop thinking about, like where and why am I getting 1 slice of cheese from, and like if [he] called the cops what is he going to say someone is sending me cheese in the mail?"Of course, these ideas may just be fun to think about to get you through a long week at work, they're not suggestions to try and the lawyer suggesting them only says you probably won't be arrested.

A new trend in treasure hunting called magnet fishing has blown up over the past few years, evidenced by an explosion of YouTube channels covering the hobby. Magnet fishing is a pretty simple activity. Hobbyists attach high-powered magnets to strong ropes, drop them into waterways and see what they attract.The hobby has caught the attention of law enforcement and government agencies because urban waterways are a popular place for criminals to drop weapons and stolen items after committing a crime. In 2019, a magnet fisherman in Michigan pulled up an antique World War I mortar grenade and the bomb squad had to be called out to investigate. In 2022, Fifteen-year-old George Tindale and his dad, Kevin, 52, of Grantham, Lincolnshire in the U.K., made an incredible find earlier this month when they used two magnets to pull up a safe that had been submerged in the River Witham.George has a popular magnet fishing YouTube channel called “Magnetic G.”After the father-and-son duo pulled the safe out of the murky depths, they cracked it open with a crowbar and found about $2,500 Australian dollars (US$1,800), a shotgun certificate and credit cards that expired in 2004. The Tindales used the name found on the cards to find the safe’s owner, Rob Everett.Everett’s safe was stolen during an office robbery in 2000 and then dumped into the river. “I remember at the time, they smashed into a cabinet to get to the safe,” Everett said, according to The Daily Mail. “I was just upset that there was a nice pen on my desk, a Montblanc that was never recovered.” The safe was stolen in the year 2000 \n\n#magnetfishinghttps://www.granthamjournal.co.uk/news/teenager-finds-safe-containing-thousands-of-dollars-9250637/\u00a0\u2026 — Grantham Journal (@Grantham Journal) 1650615191 The robber, who was a teenage boy, was apprehended soon after the crime because he left behind a cap with his name stitched inside.The father and son met up with Everett to return his stolen money and the businessman gave George a small reward for his honesty. He also offered him an internship because of the math skills he displayed in the YouTube video when he counted the Australian dollars. “What’s good about it is, I run a wealth management company and… I’d love him to work for us," Everett said.Although the safe saga began with a robbery 22 years ago, its conclusion has left Everett with more faith in humanity.“I was just amazed that they’d been able to track me down,” he said. “There are some really nice and good people in this world. They could have kept the money, they could have said they attempted to get hold of me.”“There’s a big lesson there. It teaches George that doing good and being honest and giving back is actually more rewarding than taking,” Everett added.Treasure hunting isn’t the only allure of the hobby for George. His mother says the hobby has taught him a lot about water pollution and its effects on local wildlife. “George is very environmentally conscious. He always has been since primary school,” she said. “When he first started to do this, he was after treasure. Everything ends up in the rivers and canals.”This article originally appeared on 04.25.22

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