As we know, baby name trends are constantly changing. One generation’s Barbara is another generation’s Bethany. But it doesn’t make it any less odd when you suddenly realize that your very own name has suddenly made it into the “old and unhip” pile. And for many of us 80s babies…that time is now. In a now-viral TikTok post, baby name consultant Colleen Slagen went through the top 100 girl names from 1986 to find which ones “did not age well” and were no longer ranked top 1,000 today. Such a descent from popularity would mark them as what she calls “timestamp names.” Spoiler alert: what might be even more surprising than the names now considered old school are the names that are still going strong. The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.via GIPHYOther extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far. Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.” But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip. @namingbebe Sorry Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney. #babynames #nametok #nameconsultant #girlnames #80skid #1986 #nametrend ♬ original sound - Colleen If your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80's.”Of course, while we still have baby names that become incredibly common for extended periods of time (looking at you, little Liam and Olivia), the real contemporary trend is going for uniqueness. As an article in The Atlantic notes, for most of American history families tended to name their children after a previous family member, with the goal of blending in, rather than standing out. But now, things have changed.Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.” So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback. This article originally appeared on 5.9.24

If you've never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don't own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a normal, non-weird way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Some people do get cats that way, and it's one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? The only people who know this are cats. They're also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver. The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man's leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that's how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad's lap as he drove her home. "We are not cat people," reads the text overlay. "My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go."I have news for you, Mom, you're cat people now. It's how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don't make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That's how the system is designed.Watch the CDS at work below: @dretontheborder #catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato This article originally appeared on 4.12.23

No matter how long you've skied or snowboarded or how much of an expert you are, there's one nemesis on the mountain that poses an underappreciated threat—the tree well. People may think the main danger of skiing through trees is the risk of running into one. But falling into a tree well is a less obvious, but still potentially deadly risk due to the possibility of snow immersion suffocation (SIS). Essentially, the area around the base of a tree creates snow conditions that are quite different than those out in the open. Air pockets in the snow combined with water vapor rising from the tree base turns the snow into a quicksand-like texture that is nearly impossible to escape from—the more you struggle, the deeper in you fall. Skiers and snowboarders die every year from SIS due to falling into tree wells and not being found in time. That could easily have been snowboarder Ian Steger's fate in March 2023 if not for the eagle eye and quick thinking of backcountry skier Francis Zuber.Zuber had just begun a backcountry ski run with a buddy on Mount Baker in Washington State when a flash of red caught the corner of his eye. Zuber's GoPro footage shows him stopping and turning to see a colorful snowboard upside-down next to a tree. “I knew there was somebody attached to it, and obviously they were still alive," Zuber told Vancouver's City News. "I shout out to the guy…he can’t hear me, he’s five and a half to six feet into the snow at that point.” Zuber knew he had to work fast. As the video shows him struggling to make his way back toward the tree through the deep snow, we can hear him muttering expletives to himself and calling out to the snowboarder. At first, we can't see how Steger is positioned, but as Zuber gets closer and starts digging, it becomes clear that the snowboarder is completely upside-down, with his face buried deep in the snow. Watch the harrowing GoPro footage Zuber shared on YouTube: [Warning: This video contains strong language.]Zuber told the CBC that they estimated Steger had been buried between five and seven minutes, "probably at either a third or just the halfway point of his possible survival time in there," when he found him. Zuber said Steger hadn't been snowboarding alone—he was with a group of three other riders who were carrying safety equipment including shovels, beacons and two-way radios—but as we could see in Zuber's GoPro, getting back up a mountain when you realize someone in your group isn't behind you anymore is no small or quick task. Steger and Zuber have since become friends since the March 3 rescue and have even gone skiing together on Mount Baker. Steger told the CBC he just wants to "enjoy being alive." Indeed, after a close-call experience like that, every moment you have would feel like a gift. This article originally appeared on 4.6.23

There are many traditional staples of fatherhood—love, support, protection, security, providing an example—but there is, of course, that other not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feeling that dads can provoke in their kids at any given moment … sheer, utter embarrassment.Usually in a father’s humiliation tool belt is the infamous dad joke. These corny puns have been around since 2003, and let’s face it, they’ll never leave. Of course, no dad needs one to make your eyes roll. They can do that most of the time simply by being themselves. For his well-known #Hashtags segment, Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share “funny, weird, or embarrassing” stories about their dads. Fallon, a father himself, is no stranger to the cringeworthy power of a dad joke. In a 2020 interview with TODAY, Fallon admitted, “I’m starting to get the eye rolls now where Daddy’s not the funniest person in the world.”Don’t worry Fallon! Clearly you’re not alone, because people replied with some truly hilarious comments. Dads might be silly, but we’ll gladly put up with it for the love they give us.Enjoy 20 of the very best #DadStories. As usual, Fallon went first:1."Instead of buying a smoker my dad just grills in the garage with the door closed." – @jimmyfallon2."At my aunt’s wedding reception, my dad ran out from the bathroom when he heard You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees play, and proceeded to do John Travolta’s routine from Saturday Night Fever." – @MJ_Rose883."My Dad will call me sometimes when he wants me to bring him food. He refers to me as 'GrubDash.'" – @FalPalAMF8284."My dad likes to play a very morbid game called 'guess who died', which consists of him gossiping about someone I probably haven't seen in 20+ years and can't remember at all, who died recently. Bonus points for guessing the cause of death." – @jon_jonz5."My dad used to drink his morning coffee with his dentures in his hand while reading the newspaper. When we asked him why, he said his teeth also wanted to read the newspaper." – @FallonHolic_6."When my dad took my sister to her first Jr. HS dance, she asked to be dropped off a block before the school. My dad proceeded to take her all the way up to the main entrance, got out of the car and loudly announced her arrival!" – @77BroncosFan7."Asked my dad if he knew who Taylor Swift was...he said, I don't care who he is!" – @JessyKrupa8."My dad whistles really loud. He sticks his head out the window and whistles back to birds. But when the lady next door heard him, she called 911. The cops told her, 'Lady, he didn’t whistle at you. He only flirts with birds.'" – @tostianascripts9."When my dad would leave a message on my answering machine, he would end the message saying, 'This is dad signing off.'" – @RealRobFindor10."We were on vacation and the gift shops selling fudge called plain fudge 'chocolate no nuts.' A guy walked up to my dad with some samples and offered him some saying 'chocolate no nuts?' And my dad said 'what did you just call me?'" – @lauraceciliaOT11."My Dad laid a new floor in my brother's house. It was all finished so we couldn't understand why he was taking up the boards again. Turns out he had seen a spider run underneath and was worried it would be trapped." – @Sohnzie12."Whenever my dad would try to talk us into trying something new to eat he'd state, 'It's so good it'll put hair on your chest.' He had 3 daughters." – @Bookelew13."My mom once bought a 6 ft Santa statue at a yard sale without telling dad. When he got home and parked, we heard banging, crashing and swearing. We went to look and the Santa was laying face down on the curb. Dad thought someone was trying to jump him." – @dknessfalls14."My dad couldn’t decide if he wanted to be called 'grandpa' or 'papa' so he just told all of us to call him 'Coach.' He’s not a coach." – @iPopEditor15."My father went to the McDonalds drive thru and asked for a whopper. When they said 'they didn’t have whoppers', He just drove off without placing an order." – @Marisa_Rosie2216."One day we went out to eat at Pizza Hut and sat in front of an empty table with some pizza left on it. My dad, being the penny pincher he is, grabbed some and started eating it. A few minutes later the couple comes back from the bathroom asking 'where’s our pizza?'" – @Alex_Erickson317."My dad let a bee land on his hand and watched it closely as it stung him because he 'wanted to see the process up close.'" – @TrippyPsycholo118."My dad once tried to tell a lady she had a Big Bug on her, but accidentally told her she had a Really Big Butt. She was not amused." – @Sallyjo2519."My dad thinks it's funny to introduce my mom as his 'first wife'....my parents have been married for 58 years and are in their late 80's." – @annMcD8720."My dad entered Canada by swimming across the Niagara from the US under the cover of night." – @albertduicThis story originally appeared on 06.17.22

It's the 21st century, and as a civilization, we've come a long way. No, there are no flying cars (yet), but we all carry tiny supercomputers in our pockets, can own drones, and can argue with strangers from all around the world as long as they have internet access.And yet women are still having to ask their partners to help out around the house. What gives?Recently, Blogger Constance Hall went on a highly-relatable rant about spouses assuming responsibility for housework, and women everywhere are all, "? ? ? ."Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing "preach Queen", someone said to me "if you want help you need to be specific... ask for it. People need lists, they aren't mind readers."So I tried that, asking.. specifics.."Can you take the bin out?""Can you get up with the kids? I'm just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years""Can you go to woolies? I've done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond."And yeah, she was right... shit got done.But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking...?NOTHING.Again.And so I've come to the conclusion that it's not your job to ask for help, it's not my job to write fucking lists.We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.Just do it.Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house. Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet? Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day? Is one of you carrying the weight?Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists....All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..It's not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That's your job.Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.Hall's post touches on the concept of emotional labor, which can be defined as "the process of managing feelings and expressions to fulfill the emotional requirements of a job."In other words, although Hall's partner may be the one carrying out the tasks she assigns him, it is still Hall's job to be the "manager" of the household, and keep track of what things need to get done. And anyone who runs a household knows that juggling and keeping track of chores is just as exhausting as executing them.At time of publication, Hall's post was shared nearly 100,000 times. That's a lot of frustrated ladies!When your girl Far Kew sends you the perfect present. You will find this and more cunty cups on her facebook page ??Posted by Constance Hall on Thursday, November 30, 2017Women in the comments section seemed to overwhelmingly agree with Hall's post.Let's all learn to share the load...laundry and otherwise.This article originally appeared on 08.27.18

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