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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
1 w

Economist Poll: Fed to Hold Rates Through March
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Economist Poll: Fed to Hold Rates Through March

The U.S. Federal Reserve will hold its key interest rate through this quarter and possibly until ⁠Chair Jerome Powell's tenure ends in May, according to a majority of economists polled by Reuters, a shift from last month when most expected at least one cut by...
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NEWSMAX Feed
1 w

Israeli Forces Kill Gazan Terrorist Who Crossed Ceasefire Line
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Israeli Forces Kill Gazan Terrorist Who Crossed Ceasefire Line

Israeli forces killed a Palestinian terrorist who crossed the ceasefire line along the southern Gaza border overnight, the Israel Defense Forces said on Wednesday.
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NEWSMAX Feed
1 w

Gold Hits $4,887 Record on Greenland Tensions
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Gold Hits $4,887 Record on Greenland Tensions

Gold prices extended their record run to breach the $4,800 per ounce level Wednesday on safe-haven flows driven by escalating friction between the United States and NATO over Greenland.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
1 w

BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding
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genesiustimes.com

BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding

In a stunning display of progressive parenting and climate awareness, public schools across the northern United States shuttered their doors today due to dangerously cold weather—so students could safely enjoy the timeless winter tradition of sledding. As temperatures plunged into the bone-chilling single digits (and wind chills flirted with the kind of numbers usually reserved for cryotherapy marketing), districts from Minnesota to Maine declared snow days not out of fear for frostbite or hypothermia, but to protect young lives from the grave risks of staying indoors with central heating. Officials emphasized that bundling up in multiple layers, hurtling down icy hills at breakneck speeds, and occasionally face-planting into powdery drifts represented the only responsible response to Mother Nature’s latest tantrum. “Climate change has taught us that extreme weather is dangerous,” explained Dr. Evergreen Snowflake, spokesperson for the National Association of Overly Cautious Educators. “That’s why we’re closing schools so our children can go outside and embrace it fully. Nothing says ‘safety first’ like a good old-fashioned sled run in -15°F. Think of the vitamin D!” Across frozen playgrounds now eerily silent, the sound of distant whoops and laughter echoed as bundled-up kids torpedoed down neighborhood hills. One particularly enthusiastic group in Wisconsin reportedly achieved speeds that would make Olympic bobsledders jealous—proving once again that physics doesn’t cancel for weather. Meanwhile, in a development that surprised absolutely no one, Catholic schools remained stubbornly open. Parents attempting to keep their children home received automated calls reminding them that “inclement weather is no excuse for missing theology class.” Bea Azzelbub, longtime spokeswoman for the Archdiocese’s education office, addressed reporters outside a snow-covered parish school while steam rose dramatically from her nostrils. “Hell will freeze over before our students get a weather day,” she hissed, her eyes glinting like freshly polished brimstone. “These children will learn perseverance, even if it means conjugating Latin verbs with mittens on. Besides, we’ve got industrial-grade boilers and a long tradition of ignoring meteorological whining.” Public school parents, meanwhile, expressed gratitude for the unexpected family bonding time. “It’s wonderful,” said one relieved mother from Michigan, watching her kids build an igloo fortress in the front yard. “No homework, no Zoom glitches—just pure, unadulterated frostnip and joy.” As the polar vortex lingers and more closures loom, experts predict this could be the start of a bold new era in education: one where the greatest classroom is an icy hill, the best teacher is gravity, and the only thing truly at risk is dignity after a spectacular wipeout. Stay warm out there—or don’t. The schools have spoken: sledding is now an essential life skill. The post BREAKING: Dangerous Cold Weather Closes Schools So Kids Can Go Sledding appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
1 w

Dems Warn ICE Crackdowns Will Make Illegal Immigrants Afraid To Vote
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babylonbee.com

Dems Warn ICE Crackdowns Will Make Illegal Immigrants Afraid To Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote.
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Science Explorer
Science Explorer
1 w

Save $99 on the 2024 edition of Apple's impressive AirPods Max headphones
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Save $99 on the 2024 edition of Apple's impressive AirPods Max headphones

We gave Apple's over-ear headphones five out of five stars and found it gave outstanding sound quality and excellent noise-canceling modes.
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 w

Penn Law Professor Amy Wax Appeals Discrimination Case to Third Circuit
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yubnub.news

Penn Law Professor Amy Wax Appeals Discrimination Case to Third Circuit

University of Pennsylvania Law Professor Amy Wax has taken her long-running legal battle with her employer to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, asking the federal appellate court to revive…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 w

University of Maryland ‘Decolonizing Medicine’ Course Triggers Alarm Over Ideology
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University of Maryland ‘Decolonizing Medicine’ Course Triggers Alarm Over Ideology

A University of Maryland course titled “Decolonizing Medicine: Steps to Actionable Change” is raising concerns among physicians who warn that political ideology is being prioritized over science in…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 w

Trump Hits Ilhan Omar as House GOP Probes Sudden Wealth
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yubnub.news

Trump Hits Ilhan Omar as House GOP Probes Sudden Wealth

President Trump criticized Rep. Ilhan Omar this week as House Republicans intensified an investigation into her rapidly rising net worth. The comments followed new scrutiny from the House Oversight Committee,…
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Survival Prepper
Survival Prepper  
1 w

The Complete Pet Prepper’s Guide: Keeping Your Dogs and Cats Alive When Everything Else Falls Apart
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prepping.com

The Complete Pet Prepper’s Guide: Keeping Your Dogs and Cats Alive When Everything Else Falls Apart

A catastrophe strikes. The stores are stripped of supplies, and the aid response is slow. With the power off, you may not have access to water or a way to refrigerate items. Once disaster arrives, preparing is no longer a thought in the back of your mind. The choices you made yesterday affect your pets […]
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