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It can be heartbreaking to realize that someone you love can't live up to your expectations. It can be even harder to look back at choices you’ve made in life and know you could have been kinder or put more effort into things that really mattered.However, when we bravely face the hard truths we have to learn in life, we become emotionally stronger. The struggle may be painful at the time, but as the saying goes, “We are stronger in the places where we’ve been broken.” On the other side of the emotional Rubicon is healing, wisdom, and strength.A poster in Reddit’s emotional intelligence subforum asked users a very personal question that got to the heart of how they became stronger people: “What’s a harsh truth you had to accept to become emotionally mature?” The responses showed the power of taking personal responsibility and seeing yourself and others with rigorous honesty. An upset woman sits in her car.via Canva/PhotosThe discussion is a wonderful reminder of the gold that we can find on the other side of heartache and loss. Here are 11 of the best harsh truths people had to accept to become emotionally mature.1. Bad parents aren't an excuse"Having sh*tty parents is not an excuse to be a sh*tty adult. At a certain point, it's on you to do the work and break the cycle."2. Nobody owes you anything, nobody is coming to save you"That's right, if you want change, start a revolution yourself.""Or, as my therapist put it, 'the cavalry is not coming. It's on you.'"3. You never truly know what anyone is thinking"You will never really know what people are thinking. They will say what they think people want to hear or avoid the truth. You truly have to trust yourself and work with yourself. Identify what you’re thinking and feeling, and then work with it. And there are no answers. Some things will always be a mystery and never solved."Psychologists call this phenomenon the Theory of Mind, which holds that we can understand and interpret others' beliefs, thoughts, and feelings to read social situations. However, even though we may come close to understanding other people's inner states, we can never be 100% sure. An upset man grabs his head.via Canva/Photos4. You can mean well and still hurt people"Two things can exist at once! You can mean well and absolutely hurt someone’s feelings. You arent above accidentally upsetting someone.""This one is huge to me lately. I had to break up with someone who I do love, but I can't be with anymore. He refused to believe I ever loved him if I was hurting him, I said two things can be true at the same time!"5. Beware of takers"Lots of folks are takers, and if you are a giver and don’t know this, they will drain you dry.""My mum always categorises people by 'radiators' and 'drains.'"6. Watch where you place your self-worth"If you tie your self-worth to another person, you are giving them power to take your self-worth out the door with them if they leave. That's not a power you want to give them, and I highly doubt they would want that either."7. People hear what they want to hear"Feel what they want to feel, do what they want to do, say what they want to say... all we are control of is our boundaries and what we do with how we feel." A stressed-out woman.via Canva/Photos8. Radical accountability"Radical accountability is often not fun but will completely transform your capacity, integrity, self-trust, potential for growth, etc."David Goggins, a motivational speaker and former Navy SEAL, is known for championing the power of radical accountability. Here, he shares how he created an accountability mirror. Every day, he wrote a mistake on a Post-it note and attached it to his mirror. He then methodically worked on fixing each misstep. - YouTube www.youtube.com 9. Being honest about motivations"Being able to take responsibility for my actions means considering all of the harm I’ve caused and being able to look at my motivations honestly. It’s really hard to do that because the shame can be so strong, but it’s honestly really healing to be able to face yourself like that."10. You're responsible for what you tolerate"How people treat me is not my fault, but I am responsible for what I tolerate. I really didn't want to have to be accountable for myself for a very long time. It was simply easier to blame anyone and anything outside of myself for what happened to me. But I must admit that my life transformed once I started taking responsibility. Many people don't want to admit that they play their part in what happens to them (bar if they're a child, obviously - and very serious cases of abuse and violence). And I was one of them."11. Some people will never reach emotional maturity"That the people you love deeply and dearly may never become emotionally mature themselves. They may still try to defend and protect themselves even when all you wanted to do was be seen or heard. Taking it personally when you just want a resolution. It's realizing their limits are so much smaller than yours. What it so simple for you to do, even things like taking accountability for your actions, seems like a fkn mountain for them that they aren't willing to start climbing."

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1562 - The Council of Trent is reopened by Pope Pius IV for its third (and final) session 1896 - First demonstration of an X-ray machine in the US (New York City) 1960 - Capital Airlines Flight 20 crashes in Virginia, killing all 50 people on-board 1973 - Orlando Cepeda is 1st player signed as MLB designated hitter by Boston Red Sox 1974 - Science fiction TV series "The Six Million Dollar Man" premieres on ABC, starring Lee Majors 1980 - Price of gold reaches $850 an ounce 1992 - Comedian Pat McCormick injured in a car accident 2017 - Baseball Hall of Fame adds Jeff Bagwell, Tim Raines and Ivan Rodriguez More Historical Events »

The New York Times and its City Hall reporter Jeffery C. Mays attacked new Mayor Zohran Mamdani for not putting enough "affirmative action" in his new administration. Blacks make up about 23 percent of the population of New York City, so they expect him to be quota-conscious. The headline for this lecture:  None of Mamdani’s Deputy Mayors Are Black. It Has Become a Problem. Some Black and Latino leaders worry they are being denied access to power under Mayor Zohran Mamdani and that they may lose the ground they had gained under former Mayor Eric Adams. Mays lamented that "in his rollout as mayor, Mr. Mamdani has appointed five deputy mayors, none of them Black; one was Latino." Oh sure, Mamdani "announced Afua Atta-Mensah, who led his campaign outreach to Black voters, as the new chief equity officer and commissioner of the Mayor’s Office of Equity and Racial Justice" and "reaffirmed his commitment to releasing a long overdue and mandated plan to address racial disparities in New York City." But as a man of color, he's not doing enough for the capital-B black people:  The moves were welcomed by Black and Latino leaders, but they still questioned Mr. Mamdani’s commitment to racial equity. Tyquana Henderson-Rivers, a well-known Black political consultant, said in an interview that she believed it was “damaging that there’s no Black deputy mayor.” “He already doesn’t have the best relationship with the Black community,” she said. “And it seems like he’s not interested in us because there’s no representation in his kitchen cabinet.” Mays pointed out that Mamdani’s Democrat predecessors Eric Adams and Bill DeBlasio did better, and then more complaints: “For someone who prides himself on being directly engaged with everyday New Yorkers, to be so tone deaf to the cries of Black and Latinos in the city for access to power is shocking,” said Kirsten John Foy, the president of the civil rights group Arc of Justice. “There are some very good people of color that have been appointed to some high-level positions, but those people are not at the center of the decision-making apparatus in this city.” Dora Pekec, a spokeswoman for the new mayor, said there's been diversity. "Out of 32 appointees so far, 18 have been Asian American, Latino, Middle Eastern or Black, she said." Apparently, only blacks are the real "people of color" who uniquely define "diversity." The best part is how the black leftists don't like Mamdani's radical network, "as if race doesn't matter." “It is acting out what Black people don’t like about the D.S.A.,” Ms. Henderson-Rivers said of the Democratic Socialists of America, of which Mr. Mamdani is a member. “And that’s acting as if race doesn’t matter.” Kyle Bragg, the former head of the powerful union Local 32BJ, wrote on Facebook that the Mamdani administration was the first in decades to not appoint a Black deputy mayor. He also attributed the lack of diversity to the “D.S.A.-aligned politics” of the left, where issues of class are given more weight than race. Mays brought in leaders of both the NAACP and the National Urban League to pile on Mamdani's inadequacies. Suddenly, Mayor Eric Adams doesn't look quite so bad to these fervent bean-counters.