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BREAKING: McDonald’s now offering covfefe
PHILADELPHIA—In an unexpected move, McDonald’s has added “Covfefe” to its beverage lineup, bringing the viral 2017 mystery word from Donald Trump’s late-night tweet into reality.
“We’re proud to finally give the people what they’ve been craving for years — even if no one really knows what it is,” said McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski. “Covfefe is more than just a drink. It’s… well, actually, we’re not sure what it is either. But that’s what makes it so exciting!”
Marketed as “rich, bold, and incomprehensible,” Covfefe will be available in three sizes: Small Cov, Bigly Cov, and YUGE Cov. The drink is described as a blend of coffee, carbonated water, and “whatever Trump was thinking at 3 a.m.”
In keeping with the mystery, customers ordering Covfefe won’t know what flavor they’re getting until their first sip. Some cups have been reported to taste like motor oil, others like Diet Coke mixed with a hint of steak sauce. A few unfortunate customers claim theirs tasted suspiciously like tanning lotion.
A New Standard in Confusion
“We believe Covfefe captures the spirit of these confusing times,” said Kempczinski. “It’s unpredictable, polarizing, and guaranteed to make you question reality — just like scrolling through Twitter.”
In a launch event at a Florida McDonald’s, former President Trump enthusiastically endorsed the product. “People love it! Everyone’s saying it’s the greatest drink ever made. The best part? Nobody has a clue what’s in it. Tremendous!”
Trump then took a sip from his Bigly Cov and immediately grimaced before declaring, “Perfect. Tastes exactly like victory.”
Limited-Time Merch
Along with the new beverage, McDonald’s will offer limited-edition Covfefe merchandise, including gold foil wrappers, MAGA-branded straws, and tumblers embossed with the words “Don’t Ask. Just Sip.”
Additionally, every Covfefe order comes with a fortune-like message at the bottom of the cup, featuring quotes from Trump’s greatest speeches. Samples include:
“Covfefe will be so good, you’ll get tired of drinking it.”
“If you don’t like it, you must be a loser.”
“The Covfefe machine isn’t broken. It’s rigged.”
Mixed Reactions
Social media reactions to Covfefe have been as chaotic as expected. While some are praising it as “revolutionary,” others are expressing concern about side effects, including dizziness, confusion, and spontaneous rants about windmills.
At press time, McDonald’s announced that Covfefe will only be available through the drive-thru — “to maintain the mystery.”
The post BREAKING: McDonald’s now offering covfefe appeared first on Genesius Times.
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