Former Vice President Mike Pence on Friday lauded House Speaker Mike Johnson for his &;quot;moral courage&;quot; in moving forward with a plan to vote on separate bills to provide foreign assistance despite criticism from GOP hardliners.

The Nasdaq and the S&;P 500 ended lower Friday as Netflix shares weighed‚ but American Express kept the Dow afloat after quarterly earnings from both companies‚ while growing pessimism that the Federal Reserve would cut interest rates soon also dented sentiment.

Missouri's attorney general threatened legal action after Kansas City's mayor opened the city to illegal migrants.

Elon Musk on Friday came out against banning TikTok in the United States‚ even if it would mean less competition for his social media platform X‚ formerly Twitter‚ as the initiative sees fresh bipartisan momentum in Congress.

Several girls staged a &;quot;step out&;quot; protest and refused to compete Thursday in Bridgeport‚ West Virginia‚ at a middle school girl's track and field event due to the participation of a transgender athlete.

BOSTON—Harvard University has announced the hiring of adult film star Stormy Daniels to teach a class on virtue. The decision comes on the heels of the university’s controversial appointment of Claudine Gay to teach ethics‚ despite her own questionable past. According to Harvard President Ray Cist‚ the university is committed to diversity and equity‚ and Stormy Daniels’ unique life experience makes her the perfect candidate to lead the class on virtue. “If Brian Stelter can teach journalism at Harvard‚ we figured‚ why not&;#63;” Cist said in a statement. When asked about the backlash surrounding Claudine Gay’s appointment‚ Cist shrugged it off‚ saying‚ “A little plagiarism never hurt anyone. And besides‚ who better to teach ethics than someone who’s had to navigate the gray areas themselves&;#63;” The hiring of Stormy Daniels has sparked a heated debate about the definition of virtue and whether someone with her‚ ahem‚ “experience” is qualified to teach on the subject. However‚ Cist remains undeterred‚ insisting that Daniels’ perspective will provide a “deep” learning experience for students. “We’re not just talking about theoretical virtue here‚” Cist explained. “We’re talking about real-world applications. And who better to teach that than someone who’s had to navigate the complexities of virtue in their own life&;#63;” When asked about the potential backlash from parents and alumni‚ Cist waved it off‚ saying‚ “We’re Harvard. We’re supposed to push boundaries. And if that means hiring a porn star to teach virtue‚ then so be it.” In related news‚ the university has announced plans to expand its curriculum to include courses on “The Art of the Deal” taught by Donald Trump‚ “Effective Communication” led by Kanye West‚ and “Conflict Resolution” instructed by Vladimir Putin. As one Harvard student quipped‚ “I guess the only thing we can be certain of is that our tuition dollars are being well-spent.” The post Harvard Hires Stormy Daniels to Teach Class on Virtue appeared first on Genesius Times.

NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year’s festival will take place on the steps of the New York City courthouse‚ coinciding with the highly anticipated Trump “hush money” trial. The decision has left many in the Burner community scratching their heads‚ wondering how the notoriously free-spirited festival will mesh with the stern‚ stone-faced atmosphere of a courthouse. “We’re all about pushing boundaries and challenging societal norms‚” said Burning Man’s lead organizer‚ Larry Harvey (or at least‚ his spirit guide). “What better way to do that than by bringing our signature blend of art‚ music‚ and debauchery to the epicenter of legal drama&;#63;” Festival-goers can expect a unique experience‚ with art installations and theme camps set up alongside the courthouse steps. The event’s iconic Burning Man effigy will be replaced by a giant‚ flaming liberal man self-immolating in protest of “Trump and stuff.” Rumors are swirling that some of the trial’s key witnesses‚ including Stormy Daniels‚ will make special appearances at the festival‚ offering exclusive workshops on “The Art of Keeping Secrets” and “Effective Hush Money Negotiations.” When asked about the potential disruption to the trial proceedings‚ a courthouse spokesperson shrugged‚ saying‚ “Hey‚ it’s not like we haven’t had our fair share of drama and theatrics in this building already. A few thousand Burners in neon costumes and face paint can’t make things much worse‚ right&;#63;” In related news‚ the festival’s organizers have announced a new theme for this year’s event: “Radical Inclusion… of Legal Drama.” Ticket prices have skyrocketed‚ with VIP packages offering exclusive access to the courthouse’s holding cells and a meet-and-greet with the trial’s star witnesses. As one Burner enthusiast exclaimed‚ “I’ve always wanted to experience the thrill of a high-stakes trial while simultaneously getting my groove on to the sounds of DJ 3Lau. This is the ultimate convergence of art‚ law‚ and hedonism&;#33;” Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story‚ and remember: what happens at Burning Man‚ stays at Burning Man… unless it’s a legally binding non-disclosure agreement‚ of course. The post 2024 Burning Man Festival moves to outside NYC courthouse during Trump hush money trial appeared first on Genesius Times.

ATLANTA—Chick-Fil-A has introduced two new menu items that are sure to raise eyebrows: “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” and “Corn Pop Poppers.” According to a spokesperson‚ the inspiration behind these names is none other than the 46th President of the United States. “We believe in honoring this great leader by naming our chicken wings after his uncle‚ who was famously devoured by cannibals‚” said P. Pulleater‚ Chick-Fil-A’s chief marketing officer. “And who can forget the epic tale of Corn Pop‚ the bully who met his match with a chain-wielding hero&;#63; It’s only fitting that we pay tribute to these… unique… aspects of our President’s life story.” Marketing expert Donny Deutsch was quick to praise the move‚ calling it “inspired.” “This has opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me‚” Deutsch said. “I’ve already contacted KY Jelly to see if we can rebrand their product as ‘Toobin’s Tube’ in honor of that one time a CNN analyst got caught‚ ahem‚ pleasuring himself on a Zoom call.” When asked about the potential backlash from customers who might find the names in poor taste‚ Pulleater shrugged‚ saying‚ “Hey‚ we’re just trying to bring a little excitement to the fast food industry. If people get offended‚ that’s their problem. We’re all about pushing boundaries and making people talk.” Early reviews of the new menu items are mixed‚ with some customers praising the crispy‚ juicy chicken bites and others expressing discomfort with the‚ ahem‚ “inspiration” behind the names. “I mean‚ I love chicken wings as much as the next guy‚ but do I really want to eat something named after a cannibalized uncle&;#63;” asked one customer. “I think I’ll stick to the original Chick-Fil-A sandwich‚ thank you very much.” In related news‚ Chick-Fil-A has announced plans to introduce a new line of “Tweets-n-Tenders” in honor of the President’s infamous Twitter rants. Because what’s more appetizing than a bucket of fried chicken named after a series of all-caps tirades&;#63; The post Chick-Fil-A Introduces “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” &; “Corn Pop Poppers” appeared first on Genesius Times.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has sent a clear message: there are things that are simply more important than securing the U.S. border. In fact‚ you may be surprised to learn just how long his list actually is.

SPRINGFIELD‚ MO — With the unexpected overnight release of her double album‚ megachurch worship leaders across the country scrambled to spend their weekends frantically learning new Taylor Swift songs for Sunday.