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Twitchy Feed
Twitchy Feed
6 hrs

Karine Jean-Pierre's MSNBC Meltdown: Smirking, Dodging, and Still No Apology for Slandering Hur
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Karine Jean-Pierre's MSNBC Meltdown: Smirking, Dodging, and Still No Apology for Slandering Hur

Karine Jean-Pierre's MSNBC Meltdown: Smirking, Dodging, and Still No Apology for Slandering Hur
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Twitchy Feed
Twitchy Feed
6 hrs

Someone Order a Drug Test: AOC Frantically Bounces During a Bizarre Rant at Mamdani Rally
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Someone Order a Drug Test: AOC Frantically Bounces During a Bizarre Rant at Mamdani Rally

Someone Order a Drug Test: AOC Frantically Bounces During a Bizarre Rant at Mamdani Rally
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RedState Feed
RedState Feed
6 hrs

Karine Jean-Pierre's Disastrous MSNBC Interview Begins on Robert Hur and Ends on "Black" and "Queer"
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Karine Jean-Pierre's Disastrous MSNBC Interview Begins on Robert Hur and Ends on "Black" and "Queer"

Karine Jean-Pierre's Disastrous MSNBC Interview Begins on Robert Hur and Ends on "Black" and "Queer"
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Trending Tech
Trending Tech
6 hrs

Is It Safe To Leave Your Windows Laptop Plugged In All The Time?
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Is It Safe To Leave Your Windows Laptop Plugged In All The Time?

Leaving your Windows laptop plugged in around the clock might seem convenient, but it could have lasting effects. Here's what you need to know.
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Trending Tech
Trending Tech
6 hrs

Gemini Can Now Create Presentations Among Other Features As Part Of Gemini's October Drops
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Gemini Can Now Create Presentations Among Other Features As Part Of Gemini's October Drops

Google's Gemini AI can now create presentations for you with a single prompt, among other features that are part of the October feature drop.
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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
6 hrs

Foreign Minister: Israel Won't Accept Turkish Armed Forces in Gaza
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Foreign Minister: Israel Won't Accept Turkish Armed Forces in Gaza

Israel won't accept the presence of Turkish armed forces in Gaza under a U.S. plan to end war in the Palestinian territory for good, Israeli Foreign Minister Gideon Saar said on Monday. President Donald Trump's plan includes...
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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
6 hrs

NHTSA Widens Probe Into 286K GM Cars for Engine Issue
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NHTSA Widens Probe Into 286K GM Cars for Engine Issue

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is expanding its probe into 286,000 GM vehicles in the U.S. over a possible engine failure issue, the safety regulator said on Monday. The NHTSA said the issue stems from engine bearing failures in GM's L87 6.2-liter engine...
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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
6 hrs

Canada's Carney Says Will Meet China's Xi at APEC, Open to Trump Talks
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Canada's Carney Says Will Meet China's Xi at APEC, Open to Trump Talks

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney will meet Chinese President Xi Jinping later this week and is ready to sit down for trade talks with Donald Trump as soon as the U.S. President is prepared to do so, he said on Monday.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
6 hrs

Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia
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genesiustimes.com

Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia

In a stunning reversal of historical migration patterns, thousands of Muslims from war-torn, dictator-ruled, or simply boring countries have begun arriving in the United States—not for jobs, safety, or that weird obsession with Applebee’s—but for the unparalleled thrill of being systematically oppressed by Islamophobia. Yes, you read that correctly. America, long criticized for its lackluster oppression portfolio, has finally hit the big time. “It’s like a luxury spa for the soul,” gushed Ahmed Al-Mansour, a recent arrival from a nation where religious freedom is technically illegal but practically nonexistent. “Back home, the government just disappears you. Here? You get microaggressions. Someone asks if you’re a terrorist while holding the door open. Exquisite.” The U.S. government, ever the gracious host, has rolled out the red carpet—or rather, the red-white-and-blue carpet with subtle profiling stitched into the seams. New arrivals are greeted at airports with complimentary TSA pat-downs, free copies of The Turner Diaries, and a starter kit of suspicious glances from Midwestern grandmothers. “We’re not just oppressing willy-nilly,” explained Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Karen McKaren. “This is systematic. We have spreadsheets. Flowcharts. A diversity officer whose job is to ensure the oppression is evenly distributed across zip codes.” The crown jewel of America’s Islamophobia industrial complex? The coveted “Random Security Check” lottery. Every Muslim traveler has a chance to win a full-body scan, a 45-minute interrogation about their cousin’s wedding in Lahore, and a complimentary bottle of water—after they’ve removed their shoes. “I came for the systemic part,” said Fatima Rahman, who left a stable job in Dubai to experience the authentic American dream of being asked to “go back where you came from” by a guy in a MAGA hat who can’t pronounce “hummus.” “In the Gulf, they just deport you. Here, they debate whether you belong. It’s so… thoughtful.” Progressive activists, never ones to miss a trend, have launched “Oppression Tourism” packages. For $4,999, visitors get a week in Dearborn, Michigan, complete with guided tours of mosques under FBI surveillance, a meet-and-greet with local militia members, and a souvenir “I Survived a Trump Rally” T-shirt. Critics—mostly people who’ve never experienced a single sideways glance—claim the oppression is overhyped. “It’s not systematic,” whined one think-tank bro. “It’s just… vibes.” But data disagrees: 87% of Muslim Americans report being asked if they’re “one of the good ones,” a statistic so precise it must be true. As the influx continues, real estate agents in swing states report booming demand for homes near airports—“for the ambiance,” buyers say. One entrepreneur has even launched “IslamophobiaBnB,” where hosts promise “authentic suspicion” and “breakfast served with a side of side-eye.” In a nation that once prided itself on religious freedom, America has finally found its niche: oppression so refined, so bureaucratic, that people are willing to risk life and limb to experience it. Move over, Paris. Forget Tokyo. The new global must-see destination is a TSA line in Atlanta. Welcome to America. Please remove your dignity before boarding. The post Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
6 hrs

Trump Dedicates White House ‘Ball’room to Michelle Obama, Cites Bipartisan Appeal
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genesiustimes.com

Trump Dedicates White House ‘Ball’room to Michelle Obama, Cites Bipartisan Appeal

Washington, D.C. – In a bid for what he termed “finally some positive press – believe me, it’s overdue,” President Donald J. Trump confirmed Tuesday the naming of a newly renovated White House ballroom after former First Lady Michelle Obama. The space, dubbed the Michelle Obama “Ball”room, is positioned as a unifying gesture in an era of deepening partisan rifts, though Trump’s delivery suggested it might double as a comedy club audition. “I think naming the new ballroom after Michelle Obama appeases both political parties,” Trump said during a Rose Garden ceremony, flanked by gold-embossed blueprints and a scale model of the venue featuring suspiciously prominent disco balls. “Democrats get their healthy eating icon; Republicans get the irony. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy a good double entendre? It’s like a tax cut – everyone wins, except maybe the accountants.” The announcement, timed to coincide with National Kale Awareness Week, elicited the expected media frenzy. Mainstream outlets, still smarting from Trump’s 2024 reelection, framed the event as yet another assault on decorum. MSNBC host Rachel Maddow, broadcasting live from a studio lined with fact-check binders, accused the president of “just bullying us at this point.” She paused for emphasis, then added, “Trump acts like everyone on the left is a buffoon, and I reject that,” while brandishing a dog-eared copy of his tax returns as visual aid. “See? This is what buffoonery looks like. Not us.” Viewership spiked 17% during the segment, with Nielsen attributing the bump to “schadenfreude adjacent” demographics. A follow-up panel debate devolved into a 45-minute taxonomy of puns, concluding that “ballroom” ranks only slightly below “covfefe” on the scale of presidential wordplay disasters. Not all reactions skewed leftward. Former President Bill Clinton, reached at his Chappaqua estate amid a suspiciously timed saxophone practice session, offered rare bipartisan praise. “It’s one of my biggest regrets,” Clinton said, exhaling a cloud of what aides described as “vintage nostalgia.” “I had to nail Monica Lewinsky and all those other interns in that tiny office next to the Oval Office. I could have built a giant ‘ball’ room with a giant cigar humidor. Think of the productivity gains – or at least the square footage.” The “Ball”room itself, a $32 million retrofit of the East Room’s underutilized annex, boasts energy-efficient lighting, a built-in treadmill for impromptu policy briefings, and walls paneled in what Trump called “Let Them Eat Arugula” walnut. Capacity: 500 dignitaries, or 1,200 if the event skews toward vegan finger foods. First reservation: a November fundraiser headlined by Elon Musk, promising “dancing robots and zero apologies.” White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt fielded queries with practiced neutrality. “We’re committed to inclusivity,” she said. “Even if it means explaining dad jokes to foreign ambassadors.” Michelle Obama, vacationing in Tuscany, issued a statement via emoji: a eggplant followed by three eye-rolls. As the dust settles – or at least the confetti from the groundbreaking – political analysts caution that the gesture may prove as fleeting as a campaign promise. “It’s bipartisan until the next tweet,” quipped one Brookings Institution fellow. “Or until someone installs a salad spinner in the chandelier.” For now, though, the “Ball”room stands as a monument to compromise: elegant, enduring, and utterly impossible to take seriously. The post Trump Dedicates White House ‘Ball’room to Michelle Obama, Cites Bipartisan Appeal appeared first on Genesius Times.
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